The Voice of Reason
by aristarazz
Summary: Karma and Amy havent seen each other in 5 years since Amy left on the tourbus. Amy is a director for the stars and Karma is a mega pop and country star. They both get contracted to work on The Voice talent show and read for the rest of the story...First time writing so please be gentle. Karmy
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

KARMA POV

I am sitting here dumbfounded having finally gotten a slot as a mentor on The Voice. I had literally just put my phone down after receiving a call from none other than Adam Levine himself. I have been feeling so bored lately after my tour finished that I have been looking for a new challenge. No matter how busy I keep, I am still haunted by those piercing blue eyes and the last look I ever got directly from her the day she decided to get on that tour bus. It has been 5 years since the day I made the biggest mistake in my life, but I can't exactly complain considering that I owe my entire singing career to the heartache that followed that day. I wonder sometimes how things would have turned out had I just said what I always felt, but could never admit to myself. After crying myself to sleep nearly every night for those 3 months, I finally decided to concentrate on my music and songwriting to channel the hurt and crushing disappointment I felt and once Shane convinced me to start uploading from there, things started moving pretty fast. Myself and Shane had gotten pretty close while lifeguarding together. He was his usual cocky self at first, but soon realised how damaged I was after me running off in tears on more than one occasion and he calmed down after that and we used each other as emotional crutches on a regular basis after that. My life has been consumed with paparazzi, tours and recording for the past 5 years during the day and sometimes nights, but every now and then I still managed to stalk Amy on social media. After she came back from the tour, she basically packed up for UCLA and I never saw or heard from her again. I was devastated. I picked up the phone a million times, but chickened out every time before I even got a dial tone. Its amazing how you can go from being best friends one second and nothing the next. She was doing pretty well for herself in the entertainment industry. She always used to say how she wanted to do documentaries, but her time with Pussy Explosion had obviously shown her that her talents were meant for bigger things as she became quite a name in Hollywood as the Director of choice for the rich and famous ranging from music videos to talent shows and exclusive interviews on the red carpet. What hurts me the most though is that she was linked to many starlets and models over the years, but especially the 23rd of September last year when her then girlfriend Reagan had publicly asked Amy to marry her at an awards show and she had said yes. I got so hammered that night that I woke up in my car in front of my house not remembering how I got there. I have literally not dated a single person in the last 5 years and just concentrated on music and touring. Everytime I wanted to, I saw those eyes again. The utter hurt and disappointment that I knew I could never get over. Looking on the bright side, I finally have something to look forward to. I cannot believe that I finally got the oppurtunity to mentor and nurture fresh, raw talent. I am so excited that I almost forget about her. ALMOST.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

AMY POV

Just came back from my meeting with my agent Chloe Brand and some suits from the talent show The Voice. The contract is finally signed and pretty much sealed the fate of the biggest oppurtunity that I have had since directing the MTV music awards last year. I was so shocked when I suddenly got called onstage right at the end and Reagan had gone down on one knee and proposed to me in front of millions of viewers and onlookers. I was just glad at that moment that Reagan had not noticed the hesitation and if she had, she had just minimized it to front of the camera jitters. I have always been more comfortable behind the scenes. Fortunately she had no idea of the real reason for the delay in my answer...Karma Ashcroft. Even though I never spoke to her again after I went on that tour, not a single day has gone by without me thinking of her and stalking her performances on Youtube. I know its totally childish and pathetic, but I didnt stop talking to her because I stopped loving her, I stopped because I couldnt have that loop running through my heart anymore. Problem is that I knew she felt the same, I just realised that she was never going to admit to it and I couldnt go through that hurt again. When she uttered those two little words, "I can't", it had felt like an icepick had gone straight through my heart and my chest felt like I would never be able to breathe again. I was fully content to talk to her again during that summer, but after my failed suicide attempt, I had realised that me being around her or having her in my life, was well, dangerous. My therapist and family were the only ones that knew about the suicide attempt and I have paid millions in legal fees to ensure that it would stay that way. It was a weak moment where I was just too drunk to function and the pain had just gotten too much to bear. I regret that day more than anything in my life. Fortunately, I had this beautiful oppurtunity to direct one of the biggest shows in the world and I was counting my blessings. The only thing I was not looking forward to was the trip back to Austin, my hometown, (the place where my life fell apart and began) for the second round of the auditions. The only silver lining at the end of the tunnel was that I knew Karma wouldnt be there as she is a Mega star and has to travel all over the world with her music. I wouldnt admit it to anyone, but I was probably her biggest fan in the entire universe. I had every single album she has ever released, aswell as all the unreleased ones, but then again I was always her biggest fan since we were kids. I could swear sometimes that some of the lyrics were about me, but then I immediately chased the thoughts from my head, because Karma has never been all about me.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

KARMA POV

" _Shane Harvey, you better have a very good excuse for not answering your phone right now! I have the biggest news to tell you and we need to go celebrate ASAP_!" Karma said as she once again reached Shane's voicemail.

She was walking around the penthouse with nothing but a towel and crunching up her nose while looking through her walk in closet to try and pick an outfit for her meeting with the suits from The Voice in order to sign her contract. Liam Booker was her manager and he was fantastic at his job. They havent been intimate on a romantic level since they were in High School and she valued his friendship and business savvy as he always made sure that her needs were met.

The car was waiting downstairs and she was happy to go and get this overwith so she could get back into the studio to record her new song she finished writing with Ryan Tedder last week. She had a feeling that this was going to be her next number one single and she wanted it to be ready for the semi final rounds where she would be performing it exclusively to the voice audience for the first time before its release.

They finally came to a standstill in front of The Olive Garden where the meeting was to take place when her phone suddenly started to vibrate.

"Hey Karms, sorry I missed your 3 thousand calls, I was busy working out with my new beau and things got a little out of hand. What has your panties in such a bunch?"

"I tell you what, meet me at my penthouse tonight at 7 o clock and we can pop the champagne and go to any VIP club you want and I will tell you all about it okay?" "

"Sure thing, you had me at VIP club" he said while starting to giggle.

Karma took one sharp breath before making her way out of the car towards the entrance of the restaurant as she knew that the paparazzi would inevitably be waiting in anticipation for a glimpse of her. Once she reached the table, Liam pulled out a chair for her while she greeted everyone at the table politely. She removed her sunglasses and took a moment to take in the two people sitting in front of her. They were both older men in their late forties with the suit and tie she has come accustomed to with stern expressions on their faces. She definitely wanted to get this overwith as soon as possible so that she could go and unwind with Shane.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

AMY POV

Amy was walking around inside The Voice headquarters and taking it in. She had a sense for these things and she always liked to do her research at any set before starting so that she could get the feel for things like the lighting and the positioning etc. in order to be able to direct to her best abilities. That is why she was sought after. She always managed to get the best out of every performer and angle just by mere experience and an ability to manipulate the angles and lighting in order to get the best possible end procuct. She also had a secret weapon, Lauren. Lauren was make up artist and stylist to the stars and always made time for when Amy needed her on a project. Thinking of Lauren, she suddenly realised that she was supposed to meet up with her sometime this week in order to secure her for the show and she immediately grabbed her phone out of her pocket and dialed Laurens number.

"Hey Aimes, I was wondering when I was going to hear from you. " she said with an obvious smile to her voice.

"Hey LoLo, I was wondering if you could make time in that busy schedule of yours to meet up with me later. I have something that I want to pitch to you and I can guarantee that it would beat everything you have done so far." Amy said with an unmistakable smirk.

"Fine, but this had better be good. Meet me at 8 tonight at the Radison. And you are buying."

"No problem sis, cant wait."

Amy spent another hour or so in the building and then decided that she was going to spend the rest of the day on her private beach at her mansion. She had made sure that when she bought it that she would be the only one with access and it was the main reason she chose the place. She had never been one for all the glamour and stuff, but she was hooked on the beautiful ocean and the fact that the beach was private. She loved to go out surfing when she had some time to spare and she used the time to clear her head. She was looking forward to her meeting with Lauren. They had gotten very close over the last few years and she didnt know what she would do without her tough love. She suddenly realised that she had not seen Lauren since the engagement last year and she missed her.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

KARMA POV

Karma was already on her second glass of champagne when the doorman called up to anounce that Shane Harvey had finally arrived, an hour late as per usual. She told Arthur to send him up and went to retrieve a second flute from her cabinet when the elevator announced that Shane was here.

"Hi my sexy, famous, auburn haired beauty!" he exclaimed obviously looking to score points for being late.

"Well look who finally decided to make an appearance." Karma said while beckoning for a hug.

He immediately grabbed the flute from her hand and started walking towards the luxurious white couch overlooking the city with Karma following him eagerly.

"I am so happy to see you Shane, I missed you"

"Missed you too boo, so what is this news you absolutely couldnt tell me over the phone?"

"Well, guess who will be the mentor for none other than your personal wet dream Adam Levine on the new season of The Voice?"

"No shit!" he exclaimed not being able to curb his enthusiasm.

Karma couldnt help but burst out in laughter. It was the first time in so long that she managed to laugh so that her stomach hurt and she was grateful for still having Shane in her life at that moment. They continued drinking champagne while Karma tried on outfits in her closet and modelled it for Shane till she came out with a short black dress that had a serious V draping rather low so that it left just enough for the imagination and when Shane pretended that he was breathless, she knew she had found the right outfit. She called for the driver and they made their way out towards SOHO. SOHO was the new and happening gay club on the strip and Shane have been endlessly complaining that he could not get on that list, so she thought she would humor him.

When they pulled up outside of the club, the que was already going around the corner, but upon spotting Karma along with the endless camera flashes, the bouncer immediately ushered herself and Shane towards the VIP section trying his best to shield them from the paparazzi and onlookers who already had their phones out trying to catch a picture of them.

"Whoa, it is surely a diffrent experience arriving like that!" Shane laughed barely able to contain himself.

"Its a blessing and a curse." Karma said while seating herself on the comfortable leather couch.

A waitress immediately came over to ask them what they would like to drink and Karma decided to start them off with the most expensive bottle of champagne they had available. Tonight she was going to enjoy herself and celebrate she decided.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

AMY POV

Lauren was already sitting at the bar with cocktail in hand when Amy arrived and she started running towards her, unable to pass up the oppurtunity to scare the bejesus out of her. She came at her from behind and enveloped her in her arms moving her hands to gently squeeze her boobs.

"OH MY GOD! get your hands off of me you lesbo!" she exclaimed while still being unable to control the sudden giggles that started to consume her.

"Hey sis, I am sooooo happy to see you!"

Amy beckoned for the bartender and ordered a vodka and lime and asked him to top up Laurens drink before turning over to Lauren.

"So, apparently your sister did such a wonderful job of directing the MTV music awards last year that The Voice now wants her." Amy said with an all knowing smirk on her face. Amy was always so good with sarcasm.

"And let me guess...my sister needs the most skilled make up artist and stylist to help her in order for her to take all the credit?" Lauren asked with a playful smile across her face.

"Well, are you in or out? Im sure there are plenty of skilled people just willing to line up for the job" Amy teased.

"What kind of sister and business woman would I be to pass up such an oppurtunity?" she said taking a sip of her cocktail.

They continued their banter for about an hour and a half when Amy noticed the news and saw the faces of none other than Karma Ashcroft and Shane Harvey entering SOHO. Just seeing her face briefly sent chills all the way down Amy's spine and it must have shown because Lauren quickly followed her eyes and sighed.

"Aimes, its okay. Actually, you know what? Lets make a little detour. Its time you face your demons." she said while motioning to the barman for the tab.

"Its a bad idea Lolo, I cant."

"Bullshit Amy. This pining has gone on long enough. If you want to marry Rae, you are going to have to get this shit out of your system"

And Amy knew that Lauren was right, as much as she hated to admit it.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

KARMA POV

Karma was feeling well tipsy and was swaying from side to side to the beat of the music when she spotted two blondes walking into a secluded booth and if she wasnt so tipsy, she would have sworn that the taller one was none other than Amy Raudenfeld. No, it couldnt be. Over the years she has fooled herself so many times thinking tall blondes are her and it never turned out to be. Shane finally returned from where ever he went and Karma enveloped him in a tight hug.

"Shane, I still see her everywhere. Why is it so impossible for me to forget her?"

"Babe, Im sorry to inform you that this time you are not wrong." he said while fidgeting with his hands.

"Wait, WHAT?"

"Lauren called me a few minutes ago to give me a heads up that Amy and herself was on the way here. I didnt want to freak you out, Im sorry."

Karma's heart was beating literally 200 miles an hour and she felt like she was about to have a panic attack. Shane immediately saw what was about to happen and started ushering her towards the ladies.

AMY POV

She was trying to keep herself composed, but feeling Karma's eyes on her nearly made her lose her reserve. She managed to make it to the booth which is very secluded and proceeded to down 3 tequila shots in a row in order to calm her nerves. Damn, how could Karma still have such an effect on her after so much time? She had the perfect view from the booth to see exactly what was happening without being noticed. She saw Karma nearly hyperventilate and Shane ushering her towards the ladies. She was worried. She knew Karma always got near nervous breakdowns whenever she was nervous. Did she make Karma nervous? No, it couldnt be, Karma didnt know for sure that it was her. She was still worried. She took another 2 tequila shots and decided that she should go see if Karma was alright, even though every fibre of common sense in her body was telling her not to. She started making her way towards the ladies and ran straight into Shane who looked a bit worried himself.

"Hey Shane."

"Aimes, Im really worried. Karma doesnt look good."

"Should i?"

"Amy, she needs you. It doesnt matter what happened in the past, she freaks out around you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Are you going or should I call a stranger?"

"Fine."

Amy went into the ladies feeling like a thousand spider webs were holding her back, but as soon as she got inside and saw Karma so vulnerable, her fascade faded away. Seeing her look so innocent made Amy just want to immediately take care of her. She went over and picked her up moving her towards the basins and the second she smelt the distant, but familiar smell of coconut and strawberry scent on her hair, she was right back in high school. Karma turned around and looked Amy straight in the eyes and whispered..."Amy."


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Karma looked up at Amy and wondered for a second if it was just a dream. I mean, she had imagined a million times what she would say to her when she finally saw her again, if she ever saw her again and here she is right now and Karma felt like her tongue had vanished.

"Are you okay Karma?"

"Uhm, yes sorry I - I maybe just had a little too much gummy berry juice" she said while trying to avoid the look of concern on Amy's face. Amy had a way of wrinkling her forehead whenever she was concerned and Karma had always found it so damn cute and genuine. She never thought that she would ever see that look from Amy again. She suddenly realised that she was making a fool of herself, so she started composing herself.

"Karma, just relax for a second. " she said when she suddenly realised that Karma was looking like she was going to faint again. She caught her just in time and as Karma collapsed into her arms she called out for Shane.

"Shane, this doesnt look good. Listen, can you please ask Lauren to call my car to come to the back entrance? I am going to take Karma back to the beach house and call my doctor on the premises, but I want to make sure I get her out of here without the paparazzi getting wind of this situation like earlier."

"Im on it." he said while making his way towards the booth.

Lauren turned around quickly while Shane entered the private booth with a worried look on his face.

"Whats wrong Shane? Where is Amy?"

"She is in the ladies, Karma fainted and Amy caught her just in time. Amy wants you to get the car to the back entrance in order for her to get Karma to the beach house and her doc on the premises without alerting the papz"

Lauren got on the phone immediately and ushered Shane to go and help Amy, but when he got there, Amy had already swooped Karma up into her arms like she was a little child and started making her way towards the back entrance. Fortunately the booths in the VIP section was very private from onlookers, so she was sure that she could get Karma out without being noticed.

Once inside the car Amy promised to call Shane with details later and said her goodbyes to Lauren and then directed the driver towards the beach house. Karma was lying on her lap and she couldnt help but stare at her while she was on the phone with the doc. He promised to wait for her so he could take a look at her immediately when they arrived.

"Well, its a case of low blood sugar levels combined with high alcohol consumption. She will have a vicious headache in the morning, but some rest, aspirin and plenty of water should do the trick" the doctor said while packing up his medical bag. Amy was relieved, for a second there she was just a little too worried. She put Karma to bed in her UCLA sweater and proceeded to call Shane who was more than a little concerned. She went to the medicine cabinet in her bathroom and got some aspirin and water and put it next to the bed and decided to move the couch next to the bed so that she could keep an eye on Karma in case something changed during the night. She just looked at her for a while during her slumber and she couldnt believe her eyes. She has seen pictures of her constantly , sure, but its like she just gets more breathtakingly beautiful with every second that goes by.

Sleep was eluding Amy most of the night. Mostly because she was worried, but also because the close proximity that Karma was, unnerved her completely. When the sun finally started rising, she decided to go for a surf to clear her head. She left a note for Karma so that she wouldnt be freaked out waking up in a strange bed with no one around:

" _Hey Karms, there is aspirin on the cabinet next to the bed and the coffee has already been brewed downstairs in the kitchen. I will be back in a bit, make yourself at home. Amy. "_


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

KARMA POV

Karma woke up feeling like a train had literally drove over her head and then reversed and did it again. She felt more than a little confused trying to figure out where exactly she was and trying to put the pieces of the evening together when she saw the note on the pillow next to her.

When she read the note it all started coming back to her full force and she was mortified.

"Oh my god, I made such a fool of myself in front of Amy. She probably thinks I am pathetic." she whispered to herself while reaching for the aspirin on the side of the bed. She threw the pills in her mouth without thinking twice and gulped some water to get it down her dry throat. She decided that coffee was a necessary evil if she was going to redeem a little bit of dignity when Amy got back. She wondered where Amy was. She made her way down to the kitchen taking in the place while she went down the stairs. The place was big, but not too big, the colours were all neutral and beachy and everything in it was modern, yet practical and simplistic. This place is so Amy, she thought to herself when she finally reached the kitchen. She immediately smelt the beautiful angelic aroma of the coffee and started looking through the cupboards in order to find a cup. She finally found the cupboard with the cups and decided that she needed the biggest mug she could find and finally decided on a giant yellow one.

She saw huge sliding doors leading onto a deck with a giant pool and hot tub literally right on the beach. She decided that she wanted to feel the sand between her toes and so she made her way through the sliding doors and walked onto the beach. It was early, so the sand was still pretty cold, but it felt so amazing between her toes that she decided to go down almost until the water. Thats when she spotted Amy in the water. She was just sitting on the surfboard staring out into the depths of the ocean and Karma couldnt move her eyes. A wave suddenly started forming right behind Amy and she quickly turned around to face the beach and started paddling. As the wave lifted her up, she stood up and made a sharp left turn into the wave as she was gliding into it. Karma had never seen anyone look so graceful while riding a wave and she was in awe. She watched Amy ride a few more waves while drinking her coffee and decided to go and make herself look at least a bit more decent before Amy came back. It suddenly dawned on her that Amy brought her to her house. For a second that made her smile. That must mean that deep down she still cares for me right?

She rushed up to the bedroom where she woke up and grabbed her handbag. Fortunately, she always made sure that she had the essentials with her and she quickly reached for her emergency toothbrush, hairbrush and some make up. As she went to put the handbag down, she accidentally knocked a photograph over. As she picked it up, she noticed that it was a picture of herself and Amy when they were in High School sitting in the courtyard. Her heart felt warm while thinking back at that moment she remembered so vividly. They were still faking being lesbians back then and looking at the photograph now and noticing the way Amy looked at her in the picture, she wondered how she could never have picked up on her feelings when now in retrospect it seemed so obvious that Amy was in love with her. She was just so damn blinded by the need to be popular and dating Liam Booker that she had just missed it entirely. She wished she could turn back time, she would do things so diffrently. She caught Amy in her perifiral vision coming out of the water and she went over to the window to get a better look while hiding slightly behind the curtain. Amy stuck the board upright into the sand and squeezed some of the excess water out of her hair and just that small motion gave Karma tingles all over. Amy was always beautiful, but damn she looked amazing. Her body was toned, probably from all the surfing, and she just had this glow about her. Karma was mesmerized, especially when Amy grabbed the board and started running back towards the house. Karma nearly tripped over the bed as she ran back towards the door. She decided that she would go back down to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee ready for Amy.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

AMY POV

As Amy got to the deck of her house, she started wiping the excess sand and water off of her feet and body and thought to herself.

 _What the fuck have I gotten myself into? If Reagan found out what happened last night it would devastate her. It is dangerous how many emotions stir up in me when I am around this woman. Even after so many years. She is just so goddamn luminous. What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Her reserve vanished pretty much immediately as she walked into the house noticing Karma sitting at her kitchen table wrinkling her nose in that cute damn way while talking on the phone. She propped the surfboard against the wall and started making her way towards the kitchen. She suddenly felt like a warm cup of caffeine wonder. Karma noticed her the second she entered the door and suddenly said her goodbyes on the phone as Amy made her way towards the espresso machine.

"Amy..I...I'm fucking mortified. I am sooooo sorry." "I..."

"Its ok Karms."

She could see Karma's breath hitch a bit as she called her on her old nickname and it made her smile on the inside. It basically left her lips like the most natural thing in the world and she knew she should not get so familiar, but she just could not help herself.

"So..." Karma said as she took another sip of her coffee.

Amy noticed how its her favourite yellow cup and suddenly started smiling. Its amazing how some things change so dramatically as time passes and some things stay remarkably the same.

"So, the doc says you had a little low blood sugar and the alcohol made it even lower and that is why you fainted. But the good news is...you are gonna live." Amy said while bursting out laughter.

"I love how you find my demise so funny Raudenfeld."

Amy could see the sparkle in Karma's eyes and they just sat there and laughed for a while enjoying their coffee.

"Karma, you really need to take better care of yourself you know. You had everyone in a right panic. Shane was as white as a ghost when we left him at the club."

"I know Aimes." she basically whispered, but Amy could see the surprise in her eyes the second it left her mouth and she realised that she is also back into old habits of nicknames.

Amy just smiled at her. If Amy was being honest, she missed this more than anything else in the universe. Just the closeness and natural feeling of her best friend. Even after all these years, they managed to feel completely at ease with each other and Amy realised that this was the reason for her hesitation when Reagan asked her to get married. Reagan was great, but for some reason their silence was always uncomfortable and strained. Nothing like this natural feeling with Karma.

"Shit!" Amy realised with a start that she never called Rae last night and she was probably worried sick. If she was honest with herself, she felt ridiculously guilty.

"Karms, please excuse me for a second. I have to make a quick phonecall."

"No probs, I actually have to call Liam and Shane too. They must be worried sick and OH SHIT, I missed my photoshoot." Karma blushed while grabbing for her phone.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

KARMA POV

 _"Oh my God Liam! I am so sorry! I had a little mishap at SOHO last night and I just woke up feeling like I slept over in hell."_

" _Its ok Karma, I figured after the 17th phonecall that something was up and I postponed the photoshoot. You can thank me later by agreeing to have a short interview with E News to talk about your upcoming appearance on The Voice."_

 _"Seriously Liam, do I have to?_

 _"Of course you do! Your new single is going to drop as soon as your perform it on the show and we both know it is important to have as much publicity as possible before and after a new single for the sales and to keep the label happy. You know all this Karma."_

_"Of course I do, yes sir. What time is this so called interview?"_

 _"Meet me at the Hilton at 4 o clock so we can discuss topics and then we meet them in the Lounge at 5."_

 _"Yes sir. I will be there at 4. Oh and Liam...thank you. Best manager ever."_

 _"You are forgiven by the way, considering no paparazzi saw whatever happened last night? The last thing we need now is some drunken mistake ending up all over the tabloids."_

 _"No Amy..."_ shit that came out without thinking about it. " _made sure we were not spotted leaving."_

 _"Amy! What the fuck Karma? How did Amy...you know what, nevermind. You two always manage to find your way back to each other. We chat later at the hotel ok"_

 _"Thanks Liam."_

Karma put the phone down on the table and started thinking again. It was still early so she could probably hang around here till later in the afternoon before going back to reality. That was of course if Amy wasnt going to chuck her out the second she got back from the sounds of her raised voice on the phone on the deck outside. Karma just watched her for a while and loved the way her cheecks still flushed red whenever she was mad and how she used wild hand gestures to accentuate her point even though the other person couldnt see her over the phone. She felt her smile warming up her face and realised that she must be talking to Reagan and suddenly took her eyes back to her own phone and decided to text Shane. He must be worried sick.

 _"I am so sorry for scaring you boo! Doc says I had a mild case of low bloodsugar worsened by the alcohol. I am fine."_

The reply came almost immediately.

 _"Yeah I know...Amy called me as soon as the Doc left. We obviously have alot to talk about, will I see you later?"_

 _"I have an interview at the hotel later, will text you after and we meet at the penthouse yeah?"_

Even though years have passed, she couldnt help but notice how Amy was still the caring person she always used to be. Always thinking about others before herself. She noticed Amy starting to make her way back into the kitchen and she gave an all knowing smile.

" _Are you very busy today_?" Amy asked her when she came to sit back down.

" _Honestly, I have an interview a bit later this afternoon, but I am in no hurry right now. If you dont mind, can I maybe just chill here with you for a bit to recuperate? I will even make you breakfast to say thank you for keeping me safe last night, I know that it was probably an inconvenience for you and I dont want to be a bother_."

" _No it was nothing. And I would love some company if you promise we can have the breakfast on the beach AND that I can order it instead of you cooking."_

" _Deal."_

Amy motioned for Karma to follow her and she obliged eagerly. Amy grabbed her phone from the counter and they made their way to the beach. Amy was walking in front and Karma couldnt keep her eyes away from Amy's body. She was wearing nothing but a boardshort and a blue biking top still moist from the surfing session and it sent shivers down Karma's body. It suddenly took her back to the threesome back in the day when they were teenagers with Liam. When Amy had removed the trenchcoat, Karma was shocked to see her in that sexy underwear and at the time she didnt realise what those tingles meant because she was so scared back then. Then Amy had calmed her and teased her with the most amazing kiss she had ever had till this day. She remembers feeling lost when Amy had finally removed her lips and she had just minimised it as something normal. In hindsight, nothing about that kiss was normal. If she was honest with herself for once in her life it would be that THAT kiss was where it all started for Karma. That kiss was the first time she had ever looked at Amy and really SAW her.

" _Penny for your thoughts."_ Amy said while sitting down on the sand.

" _Uh...Uh nothing really. Just enjoying the view."_ Karma blushed and sat down beside Amy.

Karma took in the view with awe. This was the most beautiful place she had seen in a very long time. So peaceful and without noise. She suddenly realised that maybe it was just the noise inside of her that was silent because after such a long time she finally felt complete again with the love of her life sitting next to her. The realisation startled her because she realised with sadness that it was only a fleeting moment and Amy was still engaged and this could not possible have a happy ending in store for her at all.

Amy noticed that she was quiet and broke the silence.

" _So how does it feel to be a superstar?"_

 _"Well, I cant complain. I have been very lucky thats for sure. (But I would give it up in a second if I could have you) I love my life, but sometimes the paparazzi can become a little daunting."_

 _"Yeah, I know that feeling. Fortunately I dont have it as bad as you I imagine, but the little bit I have experienced has certainly been hectic."_

The sun was starting to really show its face now and Karma was intoxicated with the way that the sunlight was radiating through Amy's hair still slightly damp from the surf earlier. Her face was even more defined now, which only added to her radiance. Karma started playing with her fingers in the sand imagining what it would be like to put her hands in Amy's hair, but immediately she banished those thoughts from her mind. She just finally met her again and she would be damned if she let her own stupid unrealistic thoughts get in the way of a possible friendship with this goddess.

" _Earth to Karma. Are you feeling ok? You are awfully quiet suddenly."_

 _"Yeah, Im alright, I just love the peace and tranquility and quiet of this beautiful, breathtaking place of yours. I seem to have very little quiet in my life."_

 _"Im glad you like it. This beach is the main reason I bought this place. Perfect place to unwind and just forget about the world even if its just a brief moment."_

They sat there on the beach talking for a long time and suddenly the unspoken tension between them just vanished through their mutual love for this beautiful beach. They spoke about everything that happened to them the last couple of years and suddenly the pizza arrived.

" _Seriously Amy? Pizza for breakfast? "_

 _"Of course! Breakfast of champions"_

Karma was amused with how easily Amy maintained a conversation about her work and the passion she saw in her eyes just kept magnifying. Karma was in a serious trance with the confidence that she saw in her now. She had changed so much from when she was younger, but still all the old, unmatched qualities was still right there.

" _oh my God, I am soooo fucked. "_


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

AMY POV

" _Oh my god, I am so fucked."_

They had sat on the beach for hours just talking and eating pizza. Amy was fascinated with the way Karma spoke about her life. She had reached every dream she had ever had and she looked more beautiful than ever. Her hair was a deeper shade of red than she remembered and the way the sun magnified it was breathtaking. Her eyes glowed a shade of green that was undescribable and her face had matured to a point where she looked like she had literally stepped out of a fantasy novel and Amy was surprised at how easily she carried herself these days. Back when they were younger, Amy always used to have to boost her ego, because she was so insecure, but Amy could see that that part of her was obviously gone a long time ago and it scared her how unbelievably sexy she found this new confidence.

" _Oh shit Amy, I have this stupid interview in like an hour and a half and I still have to get to my apartment. Is there any way you could arrange for me to get there?"_

Amy was slightly displeased that the little bubble had to end which felt way too soon, but she realised that this was the best thing that could possibly happen right now as she was completely fucked. She felt like she was right back in high school and she did not want to end up right back with someone who only saw her as a friend. What was she thinking? She was an engaged woman! The pull of this woman was dangerous and she was terrified.

" _Yeah no problem. Of...Of course. I will drive you myself."_

They made their way back to the house in complete comfortable silence. They were both so wrapped up in their own disturbing thoughts of each other. Amy watched as Karma made her way up the stairs to retrieve her stuff and Amy decided that she would obviously have to change into clothes aswell and made her way to her bedroom. She decided on a tight black skinny jean and a loose fitting white strapped top. She grabbed her white sunglasses of the counter and decided that she didnt feel like doing anything to her hair, so she just grabbed her Von Zipper trucker cap and popped it onto her haid with her loose, semi dry hair. When she got down to the lounge, Karma was already waiting on the couch still looking in awe out at the beach.

" _Ready?"_

 _"Uh, yeah show the way"_

They walked through to the garage and Amy could see the surprise on Karma's face when she noticed the Jeep Cherokee and especially the other two sports cars she had in the garage. Amy made her way to the Jeep and immediately opened the door for Karma. She took down the roof and decided that she wanted to feel the wind in her hair. She could feel Karma's eyes on her while she was driving and she decided to ease the silence by putting on the radio. She put it loud and was surprised to hear one of Karma's songs playing. Karma pulled a face and tried to change the channel, but Amy stopped her.

" _My car. My choice."_ and put the radio even louder.

This was one of her favourites and she was silently mouthing the words because she didnt have the voice to sing loudly. Karma was watching her in amazement and put her head in her hands.

" _Oh my god, you know my song."_

 _"Of course I do. Anyone who is anyone knows the name Karma Ashcroft. Pity about the music video though."_ Amy said with a half smile, half smirk on her face. Karma looked at her incredilously and slapped her lightly on the arm. Amy pretended to be hurt and started smiling.

" _You didnt like the video?"_

 _"Sure, I kind of liked the concept, but the direction was below average. Paul Winston right? He has never had vision when it comes to special effects OR co-ordination between scenes and his pick of choreography is usually ridiculous."_ Amy said matter of factly.

" _Well I will keep that in mind next time I drop a single. To be honest, I was sooo not happy with the video either. Everyone else had been telling me that it was brilliant, but he completely diminished my concept. I am so happy someone else noticed."_

She continued asking Karma what the original concept was and when she heard it, she was taken aback by the brilliance of it. As a director Amy always paid attention to detail and the way Karma had imagined it had been nothing short of spectacular. She was surprised at Karma's knowledge of directing and ideas and was surprised to learn that she signed a contract to her standards where she would have complete creative rights when it came to producing, videos, performances, props. Literally everything. The label must have really wanted her badly, because its usually very seldom that they allow the artist the creative rights to one of those things, especially not all of them.

They finally stopped in front of Karma's building and Amy was shocked to see where she actually stayed. Sure, she was famous, but this place was the most sought after building in LA.

" _Thank you so much for everything Amy. From last night, to this morning and listening to me rambling on like a baffoon. "_

 _"No problem Karms. Listen, take my number. The next time someone tries to drown out your vision for your own song, give me a call and I will give you a real directors opinion."_ she winked at Karma and gave her a card with her cell number while driving away leaving a stunned Karma behind.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

KARMA POV

Karma was still standing on the sidewalk holding the card that Amy had just given her with her number on. She was surprised how freaking sexy Amy could look in nothing but a skinny jean and a freaking trucker cap for god sakes, but Karma has never been so turned on after that little performance Amy put up before she left. The confidence radiated out of her and it did things to Karma that she absolutely did not want to admit. She was getting worried here. One day with her first love after 5 years and she felt like a school girl again. Not the famous Karma Ashcroft. The shy girl she was back in school too stupid to see how in love she was with her best friend. Now she has lost her to that damn alternative looking girl for good. The thought irritated the shit out of her, so she made her way up to her penthouse and greeted her favourite doorman with a serious spring in her step. She had Amy Raudenfeld's number.

She spent the better part of the hour getting annoyed with every single thing in her closet, but mostly because she was so rattled by Amy that she couldnt help herself. After 5 years spent writing songs about her, she was right back to square one. She was consuming her thoughts and she was excited and terrified all at the same time. She finally decided on a light blue skinny jean and a white rocker top with a leather jacket. Fuck the usual floral today, she was a rockstar so she could sure have a day where she looked like a fucking rockstar. She put on a pair of sexy boots and did her hair up in a messy ponytail with loop earrings. She decided to take the rockstar look to the next level with dark and smoky make up. She took one last look in the mirror and was happy with what she saw, she especially liked the fact that a piece of her music note tattoo on her collarbone was sticking out as if to demonstrate her rocker point. She never told anyone, but the notes on the tattoo was for the first song that she wrote for Amy went platinum. It just happened to be the song that Amy was just mouthing the words to a few minutes ago in the car while driving her home. That put a smile on her face before she grabbed her car keys and made her way to her beautiful little red ferrari. She felt daring today and she knows that it has absolutely everything to do with Amy Raudenfeld.

 _"Whoa, sexy!"_ Liam exclaimed when she woke into the hotel bar.

 _"Hey stud."_ Karma said as she sat down on the couch next to him.

" _Holy shit Karma. Dont know what got into you, but you look like a serious rock star."_

 _"That is the look I was going for."_ she said feeling flattered that she succeeded.

" _So Amy huh? Shit Karma, you were gutted when she left and she is engaged to that other chick. Are you ok?"_

 _"Never been better Liam. In fact, I spoke to her in length about the video for WOMAN that I told you I hated and I loved how good she is at her job. I want her to do the video for BACK THEN."_ she said matter of factly.

 _"I dont know Karma. Dont you think that it would be a little weird for you?"_

 _"I am a professional Liam. I want this to be a hit, it means the world to me and I want it to be perfect. She is the best."_

 _"Well, if that is what you want, I will have a chat with her people and see if we could set it up."_

The interview went pretty standard as usual with questions like how it feels to be part of the massive show and how the next album is coming and so on. Then suddenly Kelsy asked her a question that took her by surprise.

" _So Karma, we are all excited for the new season of The Voice with Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran as the two new judges and of course the bold Amy Raudenfeld as the new director. How does it feel being a part of the season that is said to be the next generation of talent shows with all the big names?_

Karma frose for a second unable to speak...she quickly regained composure realising that the interview was live.

" _I, uh, of course its great to be part of something so new and exciting and working with the leaders of the industry. I couldnt be more excited."_

As the interview was live and that question came up Lauren, Shane, Liam and Amy all said

" _fuck, fuck, FUCK!"_

all having tuned in to see Karma's interview at their own respective televisions.

Karma basically sped out of the hotel at record speed after finishing up the interview and called Shane the second she got into her car.

" _Oh my god Shane. You have to come over immediately. Will be at my penthouse in ten."_

Karma didnt even wait on a reply before swiping the phone off. How the fuck did she spend the entire morning with Amy and this didnt come up once from either of their sides. She thought she was professional, but just this morning with Amy had had a huge impact on her and she knew it. The Voice was a very hands on show and they would have to work together closely for months before the end. How the fuck was she going to be able to work with her almost every single day and not give away how deeply she still felt for the blonde? She was in such a hurry to get to her place to see Shane that she didnt even hear her phone beeping next to her.

She got to her place in half the time she usually takes and was relieved to see Shane's car already outside her building. She barely remember the elevator ride up to her penthouse, but when Shane was sitting on her couch she ran over and fell down on him immediately with tears streaming down her face. He just held her for the longest time till she eventually calmed down.

" _Karma, it is not the end of the world. For the last 5 years I have heard you constantly complaining how you wish you still had her in your life and how you regret the way things ended and how you wish you could have told her and how you wish you could fix things. Shall I go on?"_

 _"I dont see what you are getting at Shane."_

 _"This is the perfect oppurtunity for you to do all those things. And by the way she protected you last night and the look on her face full of fear with you in her arms, this is not exactly over for her yet either Karms. This is the most amazing chance for you to set things right. Fate must really have plans for the two of you after all this wasted time."_

 _"You dont get it Shane. She is engaged. "_

 _"Babe, listen to me. And I know this is the worst possible things I could say, but that girl is as over you as you are over her and I havent heard of a wedding just yet."_

Of course Shane was right. Amy was not married yet. She stopped herself before she let that thought get any further because the last thing in the world she needed right now was to be in the same position that Amy was back then before it all went to shit. Unreciprocated feelings, but she was. There was no denying it anymore. She has never stopped loving Amy. This was her chance to make things right. Even if it meant that she had to be a friend who was silently in love with her, she had Amy back in her life and she would rather die than letting her walk out of it again. Over her dead decaying corpse.

Her phone kept vibrating on the table and she had completely forgotten all about it when she finally picked it up to make it stop. Her and Shane had decided to watch project runway and she did not want any contact with the outside world, so she hit the off button (yes. her phone had an off switch.) They lied there for quite some time before Shane got up to leave on his date. Karma gave him her best puppy dog eyes, but he was way too invested in this date to back down. She gave him a sad goodbye hug as he went on his way. She was surprised to hear a knock on her door a few seconds later. Her eyes couldnt believe what they were seeing when she opened the door finding Amy pacing up and down the elevator.

" _Amy, what are you doing here?"_

 _"Hey, I, I, I needed to talk to you for a second."_

 _"So you just came to my house? How did you get up here anyway? "_

 _"I, uh, Shane told the door guy it was ok. Sorry."_

Karma motioned for Amy to come in and she quickly made her way to the giant windows overlooking the city.

"Woah."

" _I know."_

 _"Amy? Are you gonna spill it or am I gonna have to drag out of you why you are here at my house in the middle of the night?"_

Karma saw Amy turn around with tears obviously stinging her eyes. She could never stand Amy crying especially since it was not an often occurrence. The last time she saw Amy that upset was the last day they ever saw each other in front of that tourbus. Karma walked over and took Amy into her arms. Amy was tense at first, but soon she relaxed into Karma taking the full force of the arms around her. She eventually looked up. Their faces were so close to each other and Karma could swear that she saw Amy's eyes move to her lips. God, she was the most beautiful creature ever to walk the face of the earth. Karma's heart was beating so fast and she was hoping that Amy couldnt tell. They stood this way for what felt like forever and before Karma knew what happened Amy kissed her. The kiss was so soft, so gentle and Karma felt like her world finally made sense again. Amy's hands moved to Karma's face and she held her there while deepening the kiss. Karma slid her hands down Amy's sides and she felt Amy's breath hitch. This encouraged her and she granted Amy access. As Amy's tongue found her own, she heard a moan escape Amy's lips. It was the most passionate kiss and it felt like Karma's body was on fire from the inside. Instinctively Karma moved her hands to Amy's ass and before she even knew what happened, Amy had lifted her legs to Karma's waist. Karma walked towards the couch never once breaking the kiss. She put Amy down on the couch gently and hovered over her finally breaking the kiss to look into Amy's eyes. Her eyes were dark with lust and it gave Karma chills all over her body, but she knew she would be a total bitch if she took advantage of a clearly upset Amy and this time she wanted to do things right by Amy.

Karma got off Amy and put her head into her hands trying to calm her breath and hormones who were both out of control. Before she even had a chance to speak, Amy bolted out of the penthouse so fast that Karma didnt even have a chance to stop her.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

AMY POV

 _"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! WHAT HAVE I DONE?"_

Amy sat on her couch with these kinds of thoughts going through her head. She was still flustered from that kiss and she couldnt get over the fact that if Karma had not stopped, things might have gone much much further. Then she realised with utter amazement that Karma had reciprocated...The questions were building up in her head with every second that went by and she was going insane.

She was sitting watching the E News interview featuring Karma earlier and saw the astonishment on Karma's face when she realised that they were both going to be working on the show and knowing Karma so well, she noticed the hesitation before she spoke. To be honest, she didnt really have to rock up at her place, but it felt like she was addicted and she would make up a million excuses in order to get another fix. She had certainly not planned to kiss her, but when she had seen the genuine look of concern on Karma's face when they broke the hug, their faces were so close to each other and she felt like Karma's negative was attracting her positive just like magnets do. She couldnt resist and now she is in the deepest shit ever. How the fuck was she supposed to explain this to Reagan if she herself cant control this feeling, let alone promise that it wouldnt happen again.

Her phone was vibrating next to her on the couch and she picked it up and saw that it was a text from an unknown number.

" _Amy WTF_?"

She immediately knew that it was Karma. Obviously confused as she ran out of her place like her life had depended on it. She felt guilty. She went over there, kissed the shit out of Karma and then just bolted. She decided that texting was not going to solve this issue. This was an issue that needed to be spoken about in person. She grabbed her car keys and was out the door for the second time this evening. The drive over there she was shaking from head to toe. She needed to clear up with Karma that she was sorry and that this could never happen again and that she loved Reagan. (Pity the heart doesnt listen to the head and even less than that...the burning desire to feel every inch of her body is showing more desire to ignite than diminish.)

She held still in front of the building and just sat in her car for a few minutes. She was beyond nervous and so confused. How could it be possible that she could still feel so strongly about Karma after so much time and even when they were close before, Karma had never felt the same way. That kiss from earlier had positively screamed the opposite. It was filled with passion and she had seen the dark look of hunger in her eyes. It was unavoidably clear that Karma had wanted her just as much, but she couldnt give herself hope again. The time she seperated from her before she had nearly ended her life and she couldnt go through that again. This time would surely kill her. Reagan was safe. No confusion, no doubts.

She was suddenly ripped from her thoughts with her phone vibrating in her pocket. She retrieved it to see Reagan's pouting face, she was consumed by guilt. Not only for what had just transpired between herself and Karma, but also for the fact that she was currently sitting in her car in front of Karma's building again.

" _Hey baby."_ Reagan's voice echoed from the other side.

 _"Hey Rae, how is it going?"_

 _"Well, it would be going much better if you were with me right now. It feels like I havent seen my fiancee in forever."_

 _"Im so sorry Rae, I have just been so busy prepping for the show and got caught up you know. Can I make it up to you tomorrow night?"_

 _"What did you have in mind?"_

 _"Well, I was thinking I would cook you dinner."_

 _"Ok, I will meet you at your place at say 8 o clock?"_

 _"Perfect, see you then beautiful."_

Amy's guilt was coming full forced now. She felt like the worlds biggest asshole. She decided that she wouldnt do anything hasty now, so she texted Karma instead of putting herself in the danger zone again by going up there.

 _"Hey Karms. I am so sorry for bolting like that. Guess I was just a little overwhelmed. I leave for Austin in two days for the blind auditions. Can we maybe talk after when I get back?"_

The whole ride home her mind was filled with activity. " _What did this all mean? Did Karma have some feelings for her too? Should she tell Reagan? How was she going to work with Karma so close and not grab her and kiss her senseless?_ She let her mind linger on the kiss. It was the most amazing kiss and for even those few minutes wrapped up in Karma's arms feeling her surrender was all that she had wanted for so long and now that she is engaged to the most wonderful woman, and yet being with Karma was like the most natural feeling in the world, even after all this time. She was getting more concerned as she was rolling around in her bed for most part of the evening. Amy was many things, but a great liar was not one of them and her nerves were getting the better of her. She was supposed to cook dinner for her beautiful fiancee tonight and she had no idea how she was going to look normal, let alone looking her in the eyes. She got up and decided to go for a surf to clear her head.

Sitting in the water, she kept thinking to herself that this situation was so fucked up. She went to the club that night in order to get Karma out of her system in order to be able to give herself to Reagan fully. Now here she was sitting with open wounds, unanswered questions and visions of what would have happened had Karma not put a stop to things. Just thinking about the kiss, made her face flush. Karma was always like a magnet to Amy, sucking her in, but she had never before reciprocated any of Amy's feeling before. This emotion was new to Amy. The fact that Karma seemed to want her just as much was like heroin to an addict. She was mesmerised and intoxicated and it scared the shit out of her.

She spent the better part of the day watching netflix and eating donuts while obsessing over her current state of affairs and was no nearer to solving her issues when it came time for Reagan to come over for dinner. She was nervous. Fucking petrified that Reagan would immediately pick up what was going through her head. The doorbell suddenly awakened her from her thoughts and she gave herself a quick once over in the mirror before openening the door. Reagan enveloped her in a huge, excited hug.

" _My God, I missed you shrimps. "_

 _"Hey baby, what a way to be greeted."_

She held onto Reagan much longer than she intended. Mostly because she was feeling guilty, but also because she knew the minute she let go, she would have to meet her eyes and the way she was feeling now, she was convinced that Reagan would see right through her. Surprisingly enough, the evening went without any incidents and she was feeling much better by the end of it. Maybe she had needed this. To be reminded of how safe Rae made her feel. For all intents and purposes, she loved Reagan. She just wished that it was the same kind of all consuming, crazy love that she still felt for Karma.

The dishes were done and it was time for bed and this is the part where Amy was the most terrified. They have not seen each other in a while and Reagan was trying desperately to seduce her. She suddenly felt trapped. Reagan was her fiancee and this would be normal, but for some reason Karma invaded her thoughts and she felt wrong being like that with Reagan after what had happened with Karma yesterday. It would not be fair to Reagan and she didnt want to do that to her, so she made her excuses of having an early flight the next morning. Reagan was not pleased with the situation, but she knew about Amy's nerves about flying and how it usually affected her beforehand. They just held each other the whole night and Amy watched Reagan sleep as she herself couldnt sleep at all.

As Amy entered the plane, she realised that Karma had still not responded to her text. It was a messed up thing to do just running away like that. Especially after the way she left things the last time they saw each other 5 years before. She had panicked. She never in a million years expected to feel so much after such a long time and having Karma respond to her like that. It was a new feeling and it excited and scared her more than she cared to admit. She was terrified of what had happened the last time that she had been disappointed by Karma's inability to feel the same about her and she wouldnt be able to handle it a second time. She had nearly ended her life in an emotional drunken stupor and she couldnt handle that again. No, she had to fix things. She was going to tell Karma that it was a mistake and that she was just caught up in the moment. She let fear get the better of her.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

KARMA POV

It had been two days. Two confused, terrifying and miserable days since Amy had kissed her. She was hurt, angry, sad and miserable after receiving that text. For a few blissful minutes, she had been completely happy in Amy's arms and of course it had to be ruined. By herself. She had wanted to make love to Amy and show her how much she had craved her all this time and she wanted to make her feel special and tell her how she had loved her for years and that she was sorry for never realising it sooner and that she was sorry that she hadnt told her years ago, but she wanted to do things right this time. She knew Amy. She knew that she was engaged and that it would be confusing for her and she didnt want to do anything selfish or to make Amy feel guilty, but now in retrospect she was doubting herself. She had tried to be unselfish and stopped before it went too far and now she wasnt sure if she made the right choice.

She had literally cancelled all her appointments for the last two days and she fuelled up on wine and netflix, comfort eating cookie dough till she felt physically ill. She had swithed off her phone. She didnt want to be disturbed and she didnt want to face reality. Reality sucked. The reality reminded her that Amy was engaged, that Amy was probably going to come back here in a few days and tell her that it was a mistake and marry that woman and they would have to work together on the show and she would have to be tortured being reminded every single time she saw her that she lost her. She poured another glass of wine.

A violent knock on the door popped her miserable bubble and she was not in the mood.

 _"Whoever you are. GO AWAY!"_

" _Karma Ashcroft! You better open this door this minute before I break it down"_ Shane's voice echoed from the other side.

Karma reluctantly opened the door to see a worried look on Shane's face.

" _You look like shit. What the fuck is going on with you?"_

 _"Not in the mood for a lecture Shane. If you are not going to be helpful, go away."_

His faced softened and he enveloped her in a tight hug.

" _What has you in sweats, binge eating and daydrinking cancelling all you appointments Karma? You know this is not like you."_

 _"She kissed me. She came over here, kissed me and it was amazing and then she just ran away. Now she is in Austin and I am miserable."_

 _"What? Scandal...So what exactly happened? I need to know everything. I want all the juicy details."_

They talked for a while with Karma repeated everything that happened in detail. He just listened without interruption and when she finally seemed finished he gave a sigh and suddenly had a very serious look on his face.

 _"Karma, I dont want to be the bearer of bad news, but she bolted right after you pulled away. Remember when you guys were still faking it? You rejected her a few times when she reached out to you and thats all she ever knew. Has it occurred to you that you never once in all these years told her how you felt? You never told her that you had felt the same way."_

 _"Yeah I know, but she should surely know after I kissed her back. I practically carried her to the couch ready to ravage her. It took everything in my power to pull away."_

 _"You are not understanding me...You never TOLD her. Meaning that she doesnt know how you feel. Meaning that when you pulled away, she probably thought that you still dont want her. She probably took it as another rejection Karma."_

Reality suddenly dawned on her...Amy probably thinks that she doesnt want her.

" _Oh my God Shane, I am such an idiot."_

Shane suddenly looked guilty and like he was hiding something from her and she was not having it. Not when it came to Amy.

" _Spit it out Shane. I know you are hiding something from me and I will not have it. Not when it comes to Amy. You know how important this is."_

 _"Karma, it isnt really my secret to tell."_

 _"SHANE!"_

 _"I have kept this secret from you for years and the guilt has consumed me, but Lauren and lawyers letters have sworn me to secrecy, but I cant keep this from you anymore. "_

Now Karma's interest was definitely peaked. Lawyers letter? Lauren? This had to be big and suddenly she wasnt so sure that she wanted to hear it, but she needed to know everything concerning Amy. She just got her back in her life and she would rather die than lose her again.

" _Karma, 5 years ago when Amy left with the tourbus...something bad happened. Your rejection had broken her so much. She, she tried to end her life Karma. She almost succeeded, but they found her in time. So you see...you rejecting her has serious consequences. And now she probably thinks that you rejected her again."_

Karma was frozen. She got chills all over her body. She was gripped in fear suddenly. Reality hit her all at once. She had always known that she had hurt Amy, but she had never realised until this very moment just how much. She couldnt breathe. She couldnt speak. She finally managed to speak after what seemed like hours.

 _"How could you keep this from me Shane?"_

 _"Like I said...Amy literally went through great depths to keep this hidden. Especially from you. Lawyers had made me sign papers and I will probably get sued for telling you, but it was time. You need to know how much she loved you. She couldnt imagine her life without you and the rejection was just too much, if it helps at all, she was really intoxicated when it happened. "_

 _"It doesnt help."_

 _"Im sorry Karma. I am soooo sorry."_

 _"Shane, please leave. I have to be alone."_

He didnt try to put up a fight. He left and Karma was left alone with her tormenting thoughts. She couldnt believe that she had caused the only person she had ever loved so much tragedy. She had been so blinded and stupid that she hurt the one person who meant the most to her. She had pushed Amy so far that she had felt that killing herself was the only way. She cried herself to sleep with the knowledge that she was almost the reason that the world was deprived of Amy's presence. She was devastated. Suddenly everything made sense. Why Amy had left all those years ago, why she never called, why she ran out the other night. Karma felt like the lowest piece of shit to ever walk the earth. She was no good for Amy. As much as she didnt want to admit it, she was toxic for Amy. The truth of the matter hurt so much that she couldnt see herself ever coming out of this depression. She had to let Amy go and be happy. She couldnt be responsible for ruining her life again and this particular reality was the hardest to bear. It broke Karma. More than her leaving on the tourbus, more than not hearing from her for 5 years and more than her running out the other night.

When Karma awoke, she was hoping that it was all a dream. That she hadnt heard about the attempted suicide, but the amount of tissues on the table snapped her back to reality. She realised that she couldnt hide in her apartment forever. She needed to fix this. Today. She knew that Amy was in Austin for the blind auditions till next week and she couldnt wait that long having Amy think that she was rejected. She had to fix this right now. She called Liam and cancelled everything for the rest of the week and booked a ticket to Austin online. She had not seen her parents in a while either, so this was perfect. She knew Amy would probably be staying with Farrah and she had no idea what she was going to do or say exactly, but she knew she had to do something. She had to make Amy see that she was not rejected. It was time for Karma to step up to the plate for once in her life. All she knew was that she had to make Amy realise how important she was. Whether or not it was as a friend, Amy needed to know that she was the only thing that mattered. If anything else, Karma for once needed to be the friend she never was. She needed to be unselfish and she needed to be there for Amy. Amy was everything.

Karma knew that she may be toxic for Amy in the romantic department, but she could be there as her best friend.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

AMY POV

Amy was grateful for the distraction of work. Being back in Austin reminded her so much of Karma. Everywhere she went she remembered times they had. Her photos in her room, the stars on the roof that they put up there years ago because she was anxious about the dark. In the times she wasnt working, she was thinking of Karma. She found herself reliving their memories over and over again. One morning she had found herself in front of Karma's old house. She remembered it so vividly. They had been friends since kindergarden and things were so diffrent now, so complicated.

The blind auditions had been going so well. There was so many talented people in Austin and even that reminded her of Karma. She had been blown away by this one girl, Roxy Rameriz. This girl had been only sixteen, but she had such a unique ability to capture an audience and it had reminded Amy so much of Karma. She had immediately decided that she would be rooting for this girl till the bitter end of the show.

They had wrapped up for the day and Amy was pleased with how it went. Working was a great distraction, but she was happy to be able to spend the night with Farrah. Farrah had been so happy to see her and she couldnt help constantly telling Amy how proud she was of her. Amy realised that she had not been home in way too long. She finally made it up to her room at about 10. She had switched off the light to look at the stars on her roof when suddenly she heard the doorbell going off downstairs. She didnt think much of it since she wasnt expecting anyone, so she just lay there. She was interrupted when the door to her room opened slowly, her eyes had not adapted to the dark properly yet, so it took her a while to recognise the silhouette standing in her doorway.

 _"Hey, I dont want to interrupt, but Amy we need to talk."_ Karma's familiar voice said in barely a whisper.

Amy was frozen. This was the very last thing she was expecting. She wasnt ready. She was feeling unprepared and nostalgic at the same time being in her room with Karma after so many years, so she just sat up on the bed and remained quiet. Karma took the silence as permission and entered the room slowly, while closing the door behind her and switching the light back on.

Amy was taken aback by how breathtaking Karma looked just standing there, looking like a deer caught in headlights. For a while they just stared at each other, neither speaking nor moving. Karma finally started slowly walking over towards the bed and sat down on the edge facing Amy. Amy stiffened. Not because she didnt want Karma near her, because having her in such close proximity made her heart beat faster. Amy didnt know if it was because of them being here in her room after so many years or because she was mezmerised by Karma. It took her all of 10 seconds to move up and sit right next to Karma. Facing her and not once dropping eye contact. The sudden movement had stiffened Karma and made her breathing just a little faster. Amy was surprised to see how much she affected Karma. Back then she had never felt that Karma reciprocated anything, but here, in this moment, Amy felt the electricity that could set the room on fire. As Karma was getting ready to say something, Amy put her finger over Karma's mouth. She took her hand and stroked the lock of hair from Karma's face, she took both of Karma's hands in her own.

" _Karma, before you say anything, I have to say something...I am soooo sorry for the way I acted the other night. I had no right to appear on your doorstep, I had no right to kiss you and I certainly had no right running away like that. I was overwhelmed, years of missing you and finally seeing you again just unnerved me. But...I am engaged. I love Reagan and this can never happen again. I hope that we can put this behind us and at least have a good working relationship."_

Amy could see how her words spoke directly to the tears in Karma's eyes, but she knew that this was the right thing to do. Karma said nothing. Instead, she got up quietly and left the room. Amy sat in silence for a while, glad that she did the right thing. She couldnt do that to Rae, especially since she knew deep in her heart that Karma would never feel the intense feelings that she felt for her. She was done deluding herself that Karma would come around. She needed to move on, she owed Reagan at least that much. She still could not shake the feeling of Karma though...she knew it was never going to be easy letting go of her, especially now that Karma seemed to be diffrent. She needed her in her life, she just could not allow herself to feel so intensely for her again, just to be disappointed again when Karma rejected her.

The rest of the week seemed to go by fast and they were busy wrapping up for the last day when Amy's phone vibrated. It was Reagan.

" _Hey my beautiful, blonde love of my life."_

 _"Hey Rae, I miss you."_

 _"I miss you too, but luckily for me, you come home tomorrow. That is why I am calling actually...I wanted to let you know that I managed to get off for the semi finals, so I can watch my baby in action. "_

 _"Uh, uhm thats great babe. I have to go...we are busy wrapping up. I will call you later ok?I love you Rae."_

Amy felt bad. She didnt mean to be short with Reagan, she just got nervous suddenly thinking of Karma and Reagan in the same building. The last thing she needed was for Reagan to feel tension between them or whatever. She didnt linger too much on it though and made her way back to her house. Things were looking up. Her and Karma cleared the air and tomorrow she would be back in LA with Reagan and everything would go back to normal. Even as she was thinking it, she knew deep in her heart that nothing would ever be the same again. As much as she was trying to delude herself...she was still very much in love with Karma. Seeing her tear stained face while she was leaving her room had cemented it in her head. She just could not allow herself to feel it. She had to push it from her mind. The last time nearly killed her and she just could not take another rejection from Karma again.

Amy decided to help herself to a drink from her moms secret stash. She needed to relax a little after all the events of the last few weeks. She sat by the window and looked out over the city. She had always appreciated the magnificent view from her room. She swirled the drink in her hand and swallowed it down quickly. She enjoyed the feeling of the liquid burning down her throat. She thought back to the night when she had almost ended it. She had been so broken and she had felt dead on the inside. She could not imagine her life without Karma in it and yet she couldnt stand to be around her either at the time. She couldnt stand the fact that she wasnt enough. All she ever wanted was to grow old with Karma. To see her everyday when she woke up and to hear her sing and to hold her when they fell asleep. The irony of the situation was not lost on her. Karma was the person that nearly ended her life with two little words " _I can't"_ and the only person who could bring her back to life.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

KARMA POV

Sitting back in her penthouse right now, Karma was still devastated after the encounter with Amy. She barely remembered the flight back and even spending a day with her parents. She had wanted to grab Amy and tell her right there on the spot that she was in love with her, that she had always been in love with her and that she needed her more than anything, but that would have been the old, selfish Karma. She knew that just saying it would not have been enough. She had so much that she needed to apologize for, but she needed to get the timing right this time. The most important thing right now was to not scare Amy away, to give her space and to not do anything selfish.

It was finally time for Karma to join the show and mentor the young talent and Karma was excited. It would be a great distraction, especially since herself and Amy hadnt spoken since Austin. It killed Karma inside having to be away from Amy, but she knew deep down that Amy needed space, not Karma putting extra pressure on her. Her thoughts were interrupted with Shane entering the building.

" _Oh my God Karma, I missed you so much!"_

 _"Hey you."_

Shane took one long hard look at her and in one swift motion he had her wrapped up in his arms.

" _I take it didnt go so well?"_

 _"God, it was awful Shane. I was going to tell her everything, but before I could even speak, she basically told me that it was a mistake and that she loves her fiancee and that it could never happen again and I completely lost my fucking nerve."_

 _to give up just like that. Without a fight? That is not the Karma I know."_

 _"What the fuck can I do Shane. Its done. Amy wants nothing to do with me. I lost her."_

 _"Karma, wake the fuck up. Are you still so fucking blind to see that she is still in love with you? She is just weary because she is still under the impression that you dont feel the same way. She nearly ended her life the last time, you need to step it up a notch boo...just saying it in private is not going to cut it this time. You need to SHOW her."_

 _"What do you expect me to do? "_

 _"Well, that is something you are going to have to figure out for yourself Karma. All I know is that it is going to have to be big and it is going to have to come from your heart."_

Hours after Shane left Karma was still sitting up trying to figure out a plan. The only thing she knew how to do, was sing. The only problem though was that the first few songs they had to do during the semi's was chosen for them. They each had to draw a name. She drew Taylor Swift, meaning that she had to perform a song by Taylor Swift to open the show. It was the new way to open the show as the show was entering a new era and they wanted to do something diffrent to highlight it. All the mentors and judges had to draw names out of a hat and perform a song from the person they drew. She was racking her brain when the idea suddenly struck her...Back to December. That was the song that perfectly described how she felt. Karma had always thought it was the perfect song about her and Amy that summer. She had listened to it on repeat for months after losing her the first time. It would be perfect.

The recording of the live semi finals had finally arrived and she was nervous. The performance was the least of her problems. First on her list was the fact that she had not heard from or seen Amy since Austin and tonight she was bound to run into her. Second was the fact that she had this elaborate plan to apologise and simultaneously tell Amy how she felt the only way she knew how. A big gesture in the form of a serenade. She knew full well that this plan could backfire. Especially after the conversation in Austin, but she had to say it. She had to jump off the edge and see where it took her. Saying "what if" just wasnt an option anymore. She was done being scared. She was done being selfish. She was not however done with Amy Raudenfeld.

She had downed a few glasses of champagne at hair and make up for the nerves, but finally the moment had arrived. She walked out on stage when she heard Carson say her name, guitar in hand. The music started playing in the backround, but as she got to the microphone, she politely asked them to stop for a second.

 _"Hey Guys and Girls...I am sorry for the delay, but before I perform for you tonight, there is something I need to get off my chest...5 years ago, I made a huge mistake. Yes, us celebrities are humans too, she chuckled. I let someone slip through my fingers and was never quite the same again. I didnt have the words to say back then, but I do now. For this season, we are each performing a song from one of our fellow judges and mentors. I am fortunate enough to be able to perform a song by the amazing Taylor Swift ladies and gentleman, that describes perfectly how I feel. You know who you are and without further ado...this is Back to December. Hit it guys..."_

The music started playing in the backround and Karma closed her eyes for a second.

 _ **Im so glad, you made time to see me**_

 _ **hows life, tell me how is your family**_

 _ **I havent seen them in a while...**_

 _ **Youve been good, busier than ever**_

 _ **were small talk, work and the weather**_

 _ **your guard is up and I know why...**_

 _ **because the last time, you saw me**_

 _ **is still burned in the back of your mind,**_

 _ **you gave me roses, and I left them there to die**_

She opened her eyes and scanned the audience who were going crazy at this stage. Her eyes finally met Amy's...

 _ **So this is me swallowing my pride**_

 _ **Standing in front of you**_

 _ **saying Im sorry for that night**_

 _ **and I go back to December all the time**_

 _ **Turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you**_

 _ **wishing Id realised what I had when you were mine**_

 _ **I go back to December,**_

 _ **turn around and make it allright**_

 _ **I go back to December all the time**_

She didnt take her eyes from Amy's the entire time she was singing and she sang her heart out.

 _ **These days, I havent been sleeping**_

 _ **staying up, playing back myself leaving**_

 _ **when your birthday passed and I didnt call...**_

 _ **and I think about summer**_

 _ **all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side**_

 _ **and realised I love you, in the fall...**_

Her eyes were still locked with Amy's and a tear started dropping from her own eyes. She didnt try to cover it, she just let it flow while she poured her heart out.

 _ **And in the cold game, the dark days**_

 _ **when fear crept into my mind,**_

 _ **you gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye...**_

Tears were streaming down her eyes at this point, but she didnt falter. Still not breaking eye contact with Amy. Amy didnt look away either.

 _ **So this is me swallowing my pride**_

 _ **standing in front of you**_

 _ **saying Im sorry for that night**_

 _ **I go back to December all the time**_

 _ **Turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you**_

 _ **wishing i realised what I had when you were mine**_

 _ **I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind**_

 _ **I go back to December all the time**_

She was living herself into the song, she needed Amy to hear the words, she needed Amy to see she meant it. They didnt break eye contact once.

 _ **I miss your tanned skin**_

 _ **your sweet smile**_

 _ **so good to me, so right**_

 _ **and how you held me in your arms that September night**_

 _ **the first time you ever saw me cry**_

 _ **Maybe this is wishful thinking**_

 _ **probably myself dreaming**_

 _ **If we loved again, I swear Id love you right...**_

At the last line, she nodded at Amy.

 _ **I'd go back in time and change it, but I cant**_

 _ **So if the chain is on your door, I understand**_

 _ **But this is me swallowing my pride**_

 _ **Standing in front of you**_

 _ **saying Im sorry for that night**_

 _ **I go back to December all the time**_

 _ **Turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you**_

 _ **wishing I'd realised what I had when you were mine**_

 _ **I go back to December and make it allright**_

 _ **I go back to December turn around and change my own mind**_

 _ **I go back to December all the time**_

As the instrumental kicked in, Karma saw tears flowing down Amy's face aswell. Then she was gone. Karma was a bit shocked, but by the time she was back to reality, the entire crowd was on their feet giving her a standing ovation and Taylor Swift herself had come running out embracing her in a hug. The performance was the best Karma had ever given and everyone knew it. She was just wanting to run off stage and find Amy.

REAGAN POV

When Reagan had arrived earlier in the evening, she had been so excited to see Amy in action. She had been feeling so distant lately and she couldnt quite put her finger on it. Then when she arrived earlier tonight, she had noticed the opening performer was none other than Karma Ashcroft. It should not have unnerved her, but it did. She knew the history between the two and she knew that Amy had felt enough for her back then to want to end her life. Just as she was about to put the thoughts from her mind with the knowledge that Amy was committed to her and her alone, Karma had stopped the music and gave a heart warming little speech. Well, it was heart warming to everyone else except Reagan of course. She knew immediately that it was all intended for Amy and when she saw the eye blazing going on between the two for the entire song and then tears flowing and Amy storming off, she became nervous. The only reason that Amy ran away back then, was because she thought Karma didnt feel the same way, but after that performance tonight, it was pretty obvious that she was invested and clearly in love with Amy. Reagan was gutted, but she had to find Amy.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

LAUREN POV

Standing behind the stage in hair and make up, she watched the screen and was shocked when she saw Karma's performance. She had to give it to the woman, that was the best performance she had ever seen her do before, but she realised with a bunch of nerves, what this meant. Amy has been fragile for years because Karma didnt return her feelings, but after what half the world just witnessed, that seemed the furthest thing from the truth...

 _ **"I have to go and find Amy."**_

She asked her assistant to take over from her and basically threatened her life if everything didnt go perfectly. She knew Amy well, and that meant that she probably did not want to be found, but Lauren also knew that she would run straight to the tallest part of the building because Karma was terrified of heights. She made her way to the roof and wasnt quite prepared for what she found...

Amy was bundled up against the wall with swollen eyes and tears streaming down her face. She ran to her and grabbed her in a tight embrace.

 _ **"Amy, everything is going to be ok. I am going to kill her."**_

 _ **"No Lauren."**_

 _ **"Well what the fuck was that?"**_

 _ **"Lolo, am I being senile, or did she basically say that she is in love with me too?"**_

 _ **"Amy, there is no person in the world who was watching the show tonight that would doubt that Karma is in love with someone. Only us who know the truth can determine that it is most definitely you. She might aswell have spelled it out."**_

 _ **"What am I going to do? Reagan."**_

 _ **"Oh my God Amy. Do not even tell me you are considering this shit. Karma has always been a selfish bitch, this is just another one of her ploys to get you all riled up, because you are happy. I cannot fucking believe her."**_

 _ **"Lolo, please. I still love her. I dont think I have ever really stopped. I almost killed myself Lauren. I thought she didnt feel the same, but she was basically saying that she has always felt the same way. I am so fucking stupid. I should have confronted her before running away like a fucking coward. Twice."**_

 _ **"Amy, Reagan has never hurt you. She has been by your side since you met. She asked you to marry her in front of everyone watching the most popular awards show in the world. She has never asked you to be anyone you were not and she certainly did not disappoint you over and over and over again."**_

 _ **"Lauren, since that first night at the club, I felt like the last 5 years did not even happen. Seeing her, talking to her again...it feels like the world makes sense again. I cant just ignore that."**_

 _ **"Amy, I cannot tell you what to do. All I am saying though is just be careful. The last thing in the world you need after all you have been through, is her playing you again. If I were you, I would make her seriously fucking work for it after all the shit she put you through."**_

 _ **"I know you are right, but I still dont know what to do about Reagan."**_

 _ **"Listen to me Amy and listen carefully. Your fucking problem is always that you put everyone else before yourself. Screw Karma and screw Reagan right now. What do YOU want?"**_

 _ **"The only thing in the world I have ever wanted, was to be Karma's princess sarcasm and for her to wake up and feel the same way about me."**_

 _ **"Well then I guess you have your answer. Just make sure that you are sure of your facts before ruining your life."**_

They did not speak any further and just held each other for the longest time. Amy couldnt stop crying and Lauren was just comforting her thinking that shit was about to get real. They heard a door open and when she looked up, Reagan was standing right in front of them, eyes also stained with tears. Lauren got up and gave Amy one last hug before making her way back downstairs.

AMY POV

Reagan was just staring at her with questions in her eyes and she felt like the worst person in the entire universe and then she finally spoke:

 _ **" I take it from the swollen eyes and the tears flowing from your eyes that the performance was for you?"**_

Amy felt like someone had punched her in the gut with a tyre iron.

 _ **"Reagan...I, I...yes, I dont know for sure. I..."**_

 _ **"Amy, are you fucking kidding me right now? You assured me that she was a thing of the past. Whatever the fuck that just was, it certainly didnt look past tense to me."**_

 _ **"I had no idea Rae, I swear."**_

 _ **"That is not the fucking point Amy. The fact that you are standing on the fucking roof bawling your eyes out right now is the fucking point."**_

 _ **"Rae."**_

 _ **"Dont fucking Rae me right now Amy. This right now, this minute is where you tell me exactly what is going on. "**_

 _ **"I am just overwhelmed. I always thought she didnt feel the same way. I dont know what to say."**_

Reagan just stood there looking at Amy for what felt like hours. Amy felt like such an asshole, she has been engaged to this amazing woman for almost a year and been together for almost two and now standing here with her hurt so evident, words were eluding her. She knew that she had to say something, but she was frozen. The worst part was that while she was standing there, she wanted Karma to comfort her. Thats when she knew, things were never going to be the same again. Reagan finally spoke...

 _ **"Amy, I love you. I have loved you since the very first day that I layed eyes on you, but I need you to answer one single question for me. When I asked you to marry me last year, you hesitated, at the time I thought it was because you hated being in front of the camera. Was it because of her?"**_

This is where Amy realised that she couldnt hold back anymore. Reagan deserved better. Just before she got a chance to speak though, Reagan took a deep breath...

 _ **"You know what Amy. I asked you a question to give you a chance to correct me if I am wrong, but you hesitated AGAIN. Life is way too short to be chasing someone who is chasing someone else."**_

And with that she turned and walked away. Amy wanted to call out to her, to say that she was sorry, but she was frozen to the spot. She needed to get out of this place. She needed to think. She texted her co-director and made an excuse to leave and basically ran to her car. She didnt know exactly what she wanted to do yet. Fear consumed her. What if she just ruined her life and Karma was in fact playing her again. The questions were driving her crazy, but she felt drained. She couldnt face reality right now, she just needed time alone.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

KARMA POV

As soon as the show was over, Karma was filled with butterflies in her stomach. For one, she finally, after all these years admitted to Amy exactly how she has always felt (half the world too, but who cares?) but most importantly, to herself. All she wanted to do was find Amy and make sure that she understood that she meant it and that it was always the truth and that she should not marry Reagan, but things worth while never came that easy did it?

It was crazy from the second she got off the stage. From people asking questions, to mentoring the finalists before going onstage to preparing for her performance with Taylor Swift. It was impossible to get away and with every single second that passed with Amy never returning to the set, she was filling with dread. What if it had the exact opposite effect than Karma had anticipated and what if Amy meant what she said in Austin and she wanted nothing to do with Karma from this point forward? No, she couldnt face that as a possibility, she just got her back after years of pining after her and there is no way she was going to let her slip through her fingers again, especially with the hope she got after that passionate kiss. Even if Amy didnt know it yet, a kiss like that is never one sided.

She finally managed to get out after 12 o clock that evening and she finally got to just let emotion take over, she was not thinking clearly and all she wanted to do was get away. She had jetted out of the building so fast that she never considered or anticipated the amount of papparazzi and fans awaiting her. Before she truly knew what was happening, she was surrounded by screaming fans and a vast array of questions, she couldnt breathe and she realised that with her sudden impulse, she had left the building without guards and she was surrounded within seconds. Just as panic was starting to consume her, a strong hand was ushering her towards her car. It was Shane. Thank God for Shane. The tears was starting to form in her eyes when she got into the car and Shane held her in his arms.

 _ **"What the fuck were you thinking Karma? Leaving the building after the craziness of tonight without a guard? God, I dont even want to know what could have happened."**_

 _ **"I wasnt thinking Shane. She just ran away and never came back."**_

The tears were running freely at this stage while she nuzzled further into Shane's shoulder.

 _ **"Just calm down babycakes. I am going to call the building security so long and make sure we dont have the same situation when we arrive."**_

 _ **"Thanks Shane. I love you so much. My knight in shining armour."**_

Arriving at the building went without a hitch. The second they got inside, Karma fell down onto the couch immediately assuming the fetal position. Shane immediately made his way to the liquor cabinet and retrieved two glasses of vodka.

 _ **"Holy shit Karma. That performance was fucking ridiculously epic. I would put my head on a block it was your best to date."**_

 _ **"Just the pity that the object of the emotion bolted like a demon was chasing her and never came back"**_ she said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

 _ **"Karma, you are jumping the gun once again. You forget that this is the first time she is hearing this and secondly, she is an engaged woman. Just give the girl a chance to process. She obviously needs time."**_

 _ **"Shane, what if she runs away like last time?"**_

 _ **"Karma, last time she thought you didnt feel the same. After what myself and the world saw tonight, there is no possible way that she cant know how you feel now. Damn girl, when I left you to make a plan the other night I never expected that. It was mindblowing."**_

 _ **"Shane, each minute that I dont know what is going through her mind right now, I am going insane."**_

 _ **"I have the perfect solution for that. We are going to get shitfaced and turn the music up and dance all thoughts away. Tomorrow everything will look better."**_

 _ **"I dont know Shane, I am a right mess."**_

 _ **"You are acting as if this is optional. Take that glass immediately before I alert the press myself."**_

She had no choice but to obey. Sure, it helped a little, but she was just glad Shane was here. She would be falling apart right now if it wasnt for her best friend. They continued the drinking and the dancing for a few hours till Shane passed out on the couch with one of her red dresses, her gold jimmy choos and a white feather boa. He looked so cute passed out in her clothes, she couldnt help but crack a feint smile. She was however sure that she wouldnt sleep tonight. She probably wouldnt sleep till she spoke to Amy, but she knew deep in her heart that if she called or texted or pushed Amy in any way right now, she would be the old selfish Karma and she didnt want to be her anymore. That Karma lost Amy. That Karma hurt Amy. That Karma is not allowed to lose Amy again. She stared out over the city and settled her eyes on the full moon. She thought of Amy. The way the moonlight would glow through her blonde hair and the way the light would catch her face if she was here right now. If she loved Amy before, she was consumed by her now. She knew deep in her heart that Amy was under the same moon right now, she just hoped that it wasnt with Reagan.

AMY POV

Amy had gone for a night surf as soon as she got home. Sitting in the water always gave her peace. Tonight however was a diffrent story. All she could think about was Karma. God, how beautiful she had looked on that stage tonight. Singing those words to her and her alone. In that moment the rest of the world had faded into the distance. It was just her and Karma. Then she thought of the pain in Reagan's eyes and the way she had hurt her, but that didnt linger too long. For so many years all Amy had ever wanted was for Karma to look at her the way she did tonight and God it felt good. She had finally made her way back to the house and decided to sit on the balcony for a while. Sleep was definitely going to elude her tonight. Part of her wanted to drive straight to Karma's place and sweep her up into her arms, but that other part was terrified. She already knew she was a goner, but the fear of opening up again and feeling the pain she did before was overwhelming and she needed to be sure first. She needed to figure out what exactly was going on in Karma's head. As she looked up at the moon she imagined Karma again telling her that she doesnt love her like that, no she couldnt take that chance just yet. She needed to talk to Karma, just not yet. Lauren was right. Karma was going to have to prove it this time.

 **AUTHORS NOTE**

 **HEY GUYS. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ONGOING SUPPORT AND AWESOME COMMENTS. I WILL BE UPDATING MORE FREQUENTLY NOW AND ALL COMMENTS ARE WELCOME.**


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

KARMA POV

Karma had not been able to sleep a wink. Thoughts had consumed her most of the evening while Shane had slept like a baby. At about 6 o clock she had gone for a long, hot shower and was busy getting dressed when she got a text from Liam.

 _ **"Hey babe, that performance was so epic last night, my phone has been ringing off the hook. We will have to meet up to discuss a few things. Breakfast say 10 o clock, your choice of place. Text me back."**_

She was annoyed. All she wanted to do today was wallow a bit, watch netflix without make up and battle with herself whether or not to text Amy. She finally decided that she was going to try to get out of it.

 _ **"Hey Lee, whats the chances of getting a break today? I gave the fans what they wanted last night and its like my only day off this week."**_

 _ **"The label is going insane Karma. They want you to milk this publicity for all its worth before the single drops and you know they always say time is money."**_

 _ **"Fine, but I am not going out. Meet me at my place and we order in ok?"**_

 _ **"I will be there in an hour."**_

When Liam arrived, Shane had just left in a huff and puff with a hangover. He was complaining about his brain trying to escape his skull through his eyelids. She couldnt help laughing at his choice of words.

 _ **"Jesus Karma, you look...diffrent."**_

 _ **"ha ha ha Liam, I had a few with Shane last night. Hence the look of horror."**_

They continued their work banter for about an hour when he finally took his manager hat off.

 _ **"So...that was quite the performance last night. I guess I kind of always knew how you felt about her you know. It was so clear, yet everyone was so oblivious to it including you at the time."**_

 _ **"I know Liam, there is nothing I regret more in my life than not realising sooner. It was the biggest mistake of my life."**_

 _ **"No Karma, we all wish we had hindsight, your biggest mistake was never running after her when you did realise."**_

 _ **"I did Liam. I followed her to Los Angeles a few weeks after she left, but when I saw her in a coffee shop with this gorgeous woman looking so happy, I knew I couldnt ruin her life again. Only Shane knew about this."**_

 _ **"Oh my God Karma. Does she know that?"**_

 _ **"Of course not. The whole point of letting someone go for their own happiness, is to not intervere when they are actually succeeding without you. It killed me, but I wanted her to be happy and I had hurt her enough."**_

 _ **"Shit Karma. Is that why you have never really dated?"**_

 _ **"I dont deserve happiness. I broke Amy Liam, if I could do that, how can I deserve love?"**_

 _ **"Karma, you were a teenager. You are supposed to make mistakes. "**_

 _ **"I guess you are right, but anyway, changing the subject, I cant do that interview Liam. I cannot reveal who Amy is. I know the press is having a field day with who I might or might not have been singing to last night, but I wouldnt do that to her. I will give a press release if I have to saying it was all part of the show or something. You are the manager, figure something out please."**_

 _ **"I will try my best to avoid the situation, but the truth can only stay hidden for that long Karma."**_

 _ **"I know Liam, dont remind me, but at least keep them off my back till I have had a chance to speak to Amy."**_

 _ **"That may not be the best idea you have ever had Karma. If you are seen with Amy right now, rumours might surface. It may be best to avoid her for a bit till the hype blows over."**_

 _ **"Shit, shit, shit you are right. Thanks Liam. I will call you tomorrow ok. Let me get back to my netflix fool."**_

After Liam left, she was once again consumed with thoughts. She HAD to talk to Amy somehow, but she couldnt involve Amy in the craziness of the papparazzi that was her life, especially since the curiosity of who she was singing to last night was trending. Fuck, she had to do something...she decided to at least text her.

 _ **"Amy, I know we need to talk. About alot of things. Please please please let me know when you can see me. I cant stand you not talking to me."**_

As soon as she hit send, she wanted to take it back. She didnt want to pressure her, but this waiting was driving her crazy. She hated the fact that she couldnt just drive over there. Just as she was about to send another text with extreme emoticon abuse, she heard the doorbell...


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

KARMA POV

When she heard the doorbell, her heart stopped for a second. She wasnt expecting anyone, but everything in her body wanted it to be Amy. Even though seeing Amy right now might spark a papparazzi frenzy, she really needed to talk to her. She had still not received a response to her stupid text and her mind was making horror stories in her head. Whether the outcome was good or bad, Karma just needed to know. She had put her heart on the line and jumped. Even if it didnt send Amy straight into her arms, at least Amy should know that it was never one sided.

Answering the intercom turned out to be a bad idea. It was Arthur the doorman. Apparently the entire outside of the building was covered with papparazzi and she started to panic. She called Liam immediately and then Shane. She needed to get out of here without being spotted somehow. Only Shane would be able to help her out with that one while Liam took care of the situation downstairs. She waited for about half an hour before Liam called her from downstairs saying that he managed to get everyone to the front with a promise of a press conference from Karma herself. Shane rocked up and helped her with a disguise and arranged for a car to meet them at the back entrance.

As they got into the car, Shane looked at her with a concerned look on his face.

 _ **"Karma honey, not to be an asshole, but you look like shit. Are you ok?"**_

 _ **"Nothing is ok Shane, I havent slept in ages and I still havent heard anything from her."**_

 _ **"She will come around babe, just be patient. Where do you want to head to right now?"**_

 _ **"Take me to Amy's beach house."**_

 _ **"Karma, are you sure thats a good idea?"**_

 _ **"Shane, I have to talk to her. And besides, no one knows that we even know each other, so its probably the safest place for me to be right now."**_

He didnt argue. They made the drive there and when they stopped in front of the house, Karma was gripped with fear. She wasnt even sure if Amy was here right now, let alone if she was alone, but she hadnt considered anything but seeing Amy. Her life was a little crazy at the moment and once again filled with so much noise and Amy was the only person in the entire universe that could silence the noise within Karma. She got out of the car and told Shane to leave her.

 _ **"Shane, I love you. Thank you for always being my hero, but this is something not even you can save me from. I need to do this alone. I will call you if I need you ok?"**_

She stood in front of the door for what seemed like hours. She was playing and acting the speech in her head while pacing endlessly. Finally she figured its now or never. She rang the doorbell before she could change her mind and run away like a coward. Those few minutes waiting was torture. She was more terrified of this moment right now than any moment ever in her life. There was still no answer and she suddenly wondered if Amy was even home. She suddenly realised that she didnt really have anywhere to go right now. Going to a hotel runs the risk of one of the staff leaking her to the press and Shane and Liam were obvious choices. She also couldnt stand in front of her door like an idiot. She knew that the thoughts crossing her mind was a bad idea, even as the idea was forming, but she felt like she had no choice.

She made her way around the side of the house where she found a lower wall than all the others. She took off her shoes and jumped up and over the wall, she hoped to god that the alarm wouldnt go off, but she had to take the chance anyway. She walked towards the beach and when she finally reached the sand, she sat down and pulled the hoodie over her head. She just sat there for what seemed like forever, just thinking. She thought back to when she met Amy in the ballpit, she thought about how Amy made her laugh when her Gam Gam died and how Amy always did those little scavenger hunts for her on her bday. Then she thought about the night of Farrah's wedding when Amy overcame her fear of talking in front of a crowd and declared her love for Karma. She remembers the fight afterwards and how broken Amy had looked. All the memories came rushing to her and tears were just flowing freely from her eyes.

How had everything become so messed up? It should have been so simple. She had always loved Amy, why couldnt she just have said it and none of this would have ever happened. She was filled again with guilt as she thought about Amy being so broken that she tried to end her life and then her thoughts wandered to what if Amy had succeeded. Fuck, it was too much to imagine. She laid down on the sand and just stared at the clouds. It was the first time in so long that she felt so peaceful just doing something so simple as sitting on the beach.

She thought about what had just happened at her building. This was getting too much. Sure, before, all she wanted was the fame, now she wasnt so sure anymore. I mean for God's sake, she pretended to be a lesbian with her best friend to be popular. Now, in hindsight, she hated it. Her entire life was broadcast on a constant basis, the label controlled so much of her time and self that she felt like she was in a cage half the time and the only person she had ever loved, is marrying someone else. She realised that she wants out. This is the last album she owed the record label according to the contract and she doesnt want to renew it. She was tired of the fame, she realised that she wanted more out of life than being a puppet.

She cast all those thoughts aside and all she knew right now was that Amy was the most important right now. Nothing else mattered. She needed to make things right with Amy and she was going to, no matter what. Even if Amy only wants to be friends or never wanted to see her again, she was going to fix it one way or the other. She realised in that moment that the only thing that has ever been constant in her life was her love for Amy, even with her absence for the past 5 years, her love for Amy had never changed, never diminished, not once. She just lay there for ages with her eyes closed with a montage of moments with Amy playing over and over in her head. She felt more happiness in this moment than she had in years. Amy was her calm to her storm, her quiet in the noise, her pleasure during the pain and her foundation when her world seemed to fall apart.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

AMY POV

Amy had been out running errands all day and made a turn at the voice headquarters to arrange a few things for the live finals coming up. She had to keep busy. She couldnt let herself become dragged into thought, because her head and her heart were clearly not on the same side. Her heart wanted to run to Karma and never look back, her head wanted her to be smart and cautious. She was just on her way out to her car when she got a call from Lauren.

 _ **"Aimes, where the fuck are you? If I were you right now, I would turn on the news."**_

 _ **"Been working Lauren, I am on my way home now, whats going on?"**_

 _ **"I think it is best if you see for yourself."**_

She hung up. Amy was suddenly filled with dread. She quickly got into her car and made her way home. As soon as she got there, she turned on the television. What she saw, gave her heart a little more leverage over her head than she wanted it to. Papparazzi was camped out in front of Karma's building. There were hundreds of them. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts the last couple of days that she hadnt even considered the consequences Karma's performance the other night would have for her. She was getting a little sick with worry and decided to call Shane. If anyone knew what was going on with Karma, it would be Shane.

 _ **"Hey Shane, its Amy. I just saw the news. Holy shit. Do you know where she is?"**_

 _ **"What do u mean do I know Amy? We snuck her out a few hours ago in a disguise and dropped her off at your beach house. She's not THERE?"**_

 _ **"I just got home Shane, she isnt here."**_

Both of them was starting to get alarmed and it was obvious. Amy told Shane that she would find her and assured him that she would keep him updated. She was panicked. She felt like she couldnt really breathe properly and she needed air. She opened up the sliding doors and made her way onto the sand. She just stood there for a second breathing and thinking. _**Where could she be**_? Amy was just starting to let pure panic consume her when something caught her eye on the far left side of the beach. Thats when she saw the figure lying there on the sand, her heart stopped and her legs carried her with a will of their own as she ran towards her. She knew it was Karma and she was just lying there without movement. Terrible images of her suicide attempt came rushing back and when she finally got to her motionless body, she picked her up and tried to wake her.

 _ **"Karma, Karma please wake up."**_

Tears were streaming down her face when Karma opened up her eyes. Amy gave a sigh as relief flushed over her.

 _ **"Jesus Karma, dont you EVER scare me like that again."**_

 _ **"I, Im sorry Amy. I just didnt have anywhere to go, so I jumped your wall. I didnt mean to scare you."**_

 _ **"Its ok, its ok. Thank God you are ok."**_

Amy finally realised that she was still holding Karma and rocking her like a baby, so she released her and just put her head in her hands for a second. They just sat there for a while before Amy finally burst out in laughter for no apparent reason. The purity of Amy's laugh made Karma burst into laughter too and eventually they were both just lying there as the giggles subsided.

 _ **"What was so funny Amy?"**_

 _ **"Well, most normal people would call a person to come over, I just appreciate the fact that nothing is normal about you Ashcroft. You jump a person's wall and scare the bejesus out of them instead."**_

 _ **"Yeah, I guess that wasnt my best moment."**_

They both burst out into laughter again and that continued for a while until Karma finally broke the silence that had started to form.

 _ **"Amy...I have been dying to talk to you. I know that my timing is ridiculous, but I couldnt let another day go by without you knowing how I felt about you. How Ive always felt about you. I also knew that I couldnt just say it in private, I had to show you. Thats why I made it so public Amy. I love you. So much that it hurts. I realised it the second you got on that bus. It felt like my heart was ripped out and I was a mess for months Amy. I have never gotten over you. It was always you and it always will be you. I am so sorry for what I put you through and I swear that I would never do anything to hurt you like that again."**_

She barely took a breath with everything that just flowed out of her. She had kept all of this inside for so long that it burst out of her in one swift motion without pause. Amy was staring at her now, yet she said nothing. She just sat there.

 _ **"I love you too Karma, I always have. There are things however that you dont know about and I cant just fall right back into this with you. Its not that simple."**_

 _ **"I know Amy. I know I cant just expect you to believe me straight away and uproot everything and get into this craziness that is my life with me, but I had to tell you. You deserved to know. The old selfish Karma, would have expected an answer from you right away, but I am not her anymore Aimes...I dont expect anything from you, I dont want to cause you any upset, I just needed you to know that you were never wrong. You knew me better than I knew myself and you were always right. I loved you since the first time we met, I just realised it too late and I am so so sorry for that. That is my biggest regret Amy."**_

 _ **"Thank you. But how about we just drop this conversation right now. I reckon you could do with a girls weekend. Lets just ride this out right now and relax."**_

 _ **"You still know me well, I am so in. You can even choose what we watch."**_

At that last comment, Amy gave her a surprised glance. All the years, Karma had always made the movie choices as Amy was more a documentary kind of girl and Karma was all for romantic comedies. They made their way upstairs so that Amy could get them both some sweats and hoodies.

Karma was immediately at ease and pulled her top over her head. She could feel Amy's eyes on her and she liked it. She decided that she was going to milk this reaction for as much as she could. She had her back turned to Amy and as she threw the top on the floor, she slowly removed the bra. As the bra slid to the floor, she pretended not to notice that her chest was completely naked and turned around to face Amy as she picked up the hoodie from the bed. Her movements were slow, calculated until she finally pulled the hoodie over her head. Amy still hadnt made a move, when Karma finally pulled the sweats on and started walking towards the door.

 _ **"Im going to make the popcorn, you coming?"**_ she said as she started making her way down the stairs, leaving Amy still standing there frozen.

AMY POV

Amy was still standing there frozen. Karma had deliberately put on a semi strip show and it took everything in Amy not to react. She was so turned on at this point that she was bound to do something stupid. She decided that two could play this game. She made her way downstairs and found Karma in the kitchen busy waiting for the popcorn with her back to the doorway. She walked right up to her and stood behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist. Karma's breath caught in her throat and a soft moan escaped her lips. Amy moved her lips to Karma's neck breathing softly over every inch of skin while her hands just gently lifted Karma's hoodie, just enough to give her goosebumps. She suckled on Karma's neck for a second and then turned and walked away. She saw Karma flinch at the sudden distance between them.

Amy made her way towards the couch and grabbed the remote.

 _ **"As grateful as I am for you saying that I have choice of what to watch, I know you are just dying to watch a chick flick, so today, its your choice."**_

Karma smiled as she came walking over to the couch with popcorn in one hand and cake frosting in the other. She sat down next to Amy and immediately laid her head onto Amy's shoulder like she always used to. Karma picked "The best of me". Amy knew that this is Nicholas Sparks and is bound to be a tear jerker, but she didnt mind. For once, she felt like this was the perfect moment. They didnt speak of the conversation on the beach again, they just watched movies till they fell asleep cuddling on the couch.

They had no idea how both their lives would change after this, but they didnt care. They had each other right now and thats all that mattered.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

KARMA POV

She opened her eyes and it took her a second to realise that she was still lying on Amy's shoulder. She revelled in the moment. She was scared to move in case Amy woke up and put distance between them again. She realised Amy's hand was entwined with hers and she was so blissfully happy. She saw the television was still on and then she saw the news. The CEO of her record label was having a press release. She turned up the sound.

 _ **"We ask that you please respect Miss Ashcroft's privacy. The new album is being released the day after The Voice finals and we wil reveal the mystery person in due time. In the meantime, we encourage guesses from the public. Log on to our twitter, facebook and instagram pages for further details."**_

She was livid. Those conglomarate bastards was using her private life to create publicity for the new record. She wouldnt have privacy for weeks now because they only had dollar signs in their eyes. She woke Amy up with a soft kiss on her forehead.

 _ **"Amy, thank you so much for creating a safe haven for me yesterday. My fucking record label however has just basically put a target on my back, so I have to go. Call me later?"**_

 _ **"Karma, whats wrong? "**_

Karma didnt answer her, she just kissed her on the forehead again and grabbed her bag and she was out the door. Amy sat up. She had a feeling of dread washing over her, she had never seen Karma this upset before. She noticed the headline on the television and suddenly it started sinking in. The label was creating even more of a buzz and using Karma's performance the other night to milk every aspect of publicity they could get. She felt sorry for Karma in that moment. It couldnt be easy having your life so publicly exploited.

KARMA POV

Karma called Shane as soon as she had witnessed the news and then Liam was the very next call she made. Shane was already waiting for her outside when she came out of Amy's house and she was fuming. Shane took one worried look at her as she directed the driver towards the record label.

 _ **"Karma, maybe you should calm down a bit before storming into the label right now dont you think?"**_

 _ **"No, fuck that Shane. They went too far this time. I am done. This has gone on long enough."**_

 _ **"Karms, maybe you are not in the right frame of mind to ruin your career right now."**_

 _ **"No Shane, I have never seen anything so clearly before. I should have put an end to this charade years ago. "**_

He didnt argue much further. He knew better. You could practically see the steam come from Karma, thats how mad she was. When they got to the label, they waited in the car till they saw Liam's car stop next to them.

 _ **"Lets fucking do this."**_ she said while starting to march towards the elevator. Shane and Liam gave each other glances, both knowing that this would not end well. The elevator ride was silent and Karma practically took the door with her with the speed she marched out of the elevator. She finally reached the door she was looking for and walked in without knocking.

She looked at Caleb's face with a death stare. He looked happy to see her, but she didnt even give him a chance to speak.

 _ **"How fucking dare you Caleb? You went too far this time. You basically fucking put a target on my back and fed me to the sharks. "**_

She didnt even give him a chance to defend himself and Shane and Liam just stood there with their mouths open, shocked at the Karma they saw before them.

 _ **"This is my last album for the contract Caleb and I am not renewing it. I will finish off my time on the voice, but then my commitment with the label is over. Im going back to Texas and I am fucking done. Done. I am sick and fucking tired of you suits exploiting my talent and my private life for your own gain. I dont know how you fucking sleep at night."**_

Her fists were clenched so tight that she almost drew blood. Caleb looked like he was trying to say something, but he was so shocked at this outburst and before he even had a chance to defend himself, she turned on her heels and was out the door with Shane and Liam trailing behind her. Once they got back to the car, she finally took a breath. Both Shane and Liam just stared at her, too scared to set her off again. Liam finally broke the silence.

 _ **"Wow Karma. That was certainly something. "**_

 _ **"I am done Liam. I cannot do this anymore."**_

 _ **"Karma, I am your manager and your friend. Whatever you decide from this point forward, I am right behind you."**_

 _ **"Thank you Liam."**_

The next couple of days, she was off before they filmed the finals and she was glad for the time to reflect a little. Regardless of what happened from this point forward, she got to tell Amy how she felt and she finally made a decision about her career. Even though she had no idea yet where to go from here, she felt more at peace than she had in years. She decided that she needed to get away a bit and made arrangements to go visit her parents for the few days before shooting the live finals.

Arriving in Austin, she had this sense that her life is finally heading in the right direction. Sure, she hadnt spoken to Amy after the house the other day or told her about the new developments about her career, but she just needed to figure out her next move. She would talk to Amy when she got back to LA. Being back home again in these circumstances reminded her once again what was important. Amy was important. Her family was important. Her music was important. Fame wasnt that important. She wanted more out of life now. She wanted privacy, she wanted to create roots, she wanted to become herself again. She wanted to come back home. One thing that she realised was that she loved mentoring young talent, she enjoyed them realising their own potential and growing as they improved. She wanted to do more of that. She wanted her own label. She wanted to be the kind of label who found talent and nurture it, not exploit innocent naive talent into a media frenzy. She wanted artists to have their own creative initiative and she wanted them to be able to take their own music to next levels.

She spent the few days with her parents and told them about what she thought her new step should be and they were so pleased and proud that she knew she had made the right decision. She was getting excited. She felt like she had purpose again. She just wanted to finish the show now and tell Amy all about her plan and start making things happen, back where it all started.

When she finally landed back at LAX, she was determined. She felt excited about life again and she was so ready to start the next chapter of her life. She just hoped that Amy would be a part of that picture.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

AMY POV

Amy was more than a little worried about Karma after she stormed off the other day, but she also knew that something big was going down from the look on Karma's face when she had left. She wanted to talk to Karma and comfort her, but she also knew that Karma obviously had some things to take care of and she didnt want to get in the way. She felt slightly euphoric after the day and night they had spent together. For a while it had seemed like the whole world had once again disappeared and that they were the only two people in the world.

Sure, she had her reservations before about Karma and she had heeded everyones warnings, but her gut was telling her that Karma had changed. Her guard was not completely down yet, but she could already feel that a change was taking place within her aswell. She felt happier and like the part of the puzzle that was her life, was back again. She had felt for so long that something was a little off, even though her life was seemingly perfect to everyone else on the outside.

She needed a change, she wasnt quite sure what it was yet, but she knew that she would know in due time. Right now she was just taking it a day at a time and focusing on finishing her contract with The Voice. She had been so grateful to be a part of something so special and the talent was insane on this season. The girl from Austin that she had backed from the beginning was chosen as a wildcard and she wanted her to win. Her talent was so raw and the more experience she received from Karma, the better she became. Amy was so shocked after the semi finals how she had improved under Karma's mentoring and she seemed to have finally decided on her genre.

She was still so caught up in her thoughts when her phone made the annoying sound of announcing that she had a text. It was from Karma.

 _ **"Hey Aims. Sorry for being so quiet the last few days. Had a few things to take care of but I am back in LA. Please promise me that you will pay close attention to my performance tonight. We can talk after, alot to tell you."**_

Amy felt euphoric once again reading the text. Part of her wondered what was so special about the particular performance tonight, but she knew that Karma always had a few aces up her sleeve. That was part of what made her so special, what made her so intoxicating and what made Amy love her even more. She was hungry, she made her way down to the kitchen and opened the fridge. The only thing in there was a half eaten yoghurt and fruit that was not supposed to be in there anymore and a beer. She grabbed the beer and decided to go a bit of grocery shopping.

She was cruising down the isles when she had a head on collision with another trolley. She was just about to swear loudly when she looked up and saw that it was Shane.

 _ **"Jeez Amy, I didnt realise that you were auditioning for nascar."**_ he said with a chuckle. Amy couldnt help but crack a smile, they had drifted somewhat over the last few years, but every now and then they still kept in touch. More than anything, it was because Lauren had spilled about the suicide attempt to him a few years back and it mortified her that he knew.

 _ **"Sorry Shane, I was trapped in my own head."**_

 _ **"Clearly, some things never change."**_

 _ **"Hahahaha Shane, good one."**_

 _ **"What are you doing right now? Feel like grabbing a cup of coffee with me?"**_

 _ **"I could totally use a little distraction before the show tonight. It is going to be the biggest final yet and I am totally shitting myself over here."**_

They paid for their groceries and put it in their respective cars and decided to walk to a coffee shop just a little further down the road. They continued talking like they had never spent any time apart and Amy remembered what good friends they used to be.

 _ **"So Amy, I need to know. How are you feeling with this whole Karma thing? I mean, you know we are good friends and I am telling you that since you came back into her life, something major changed within her."**_

 _ **"Firstly, I was totally caught off guard by the whole thing Shane. I mean, you know what happened back then and when she appeared again after all these years saying the things she was saying, it knocked me for a six. I was scared. I am still scared. I cannot be hurt by her again. My heart wouldnt survive another Karma crash."**_

 _ **"Amy, because you are both my friends and because I kind of told Karma about the attempt, I am going to apologise by giving up some information about her too. I am sorry, but she forced it out of me. Before you get mad, let me first say what I have to say. Because I have known both of you for years now and if there is one thing in my life I am sure of, its that the two of you belong together. No one has ever been more right for each other. So here goes...When you left for UCLA just after your tour, Karma finally realised how she felt about you. She followed you a few weeks later Amy. When she came back though, she was gutted. She kept babbeling about seeing you with some girl in a coffee shop looking so happy and that she had to let you go because you deserved better bla bla bla. The point is, she has never dated a single person after you left. She threw herself into her career and the rest is history."**_

 _ **"How could you tell her Shane? I took every precaution for her to never find out."**_

 _ **"You are missing the point Amy, forget about that right now. Concentrate on the fact that this isnt new coming from her Amy, for God's sake, every single song she ever wrote was about you. The tattoo on her chest is for the first song about you that went platinum, its the actual chords."**_

 _ **"You mean that everything that has happened wasnt just because she saw me again?"**_

 _ **"That is exactly what I am saying. And I know that she wanted to do things her way, but I am tired of waiting for everyone's favourite couple to get back together. I thought I would just move things along a little bit. You know, she was so mad that they exploited the show the other night and that it might put you in papparazzi interest, that she basically quit the label. I have never seen her like that Amy. "**_

 _ **"She did WHAT? "**_

 _ **"Yup, she marched right in there and told them that she was done. This was the last album that she owed them and she is finishing the show, but she is done after that."**_

After the coffee with Shane, Amy had alot to think about. Firstly, she couldnt believe that Karma had actually realised her feelings that soon, secondly, to Karma - she always thought fame was the most important thing, but the second it put Amy in the limelight, she quit. This was huge. She found that her heart was winning the battle with her head slowly, but surely.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

KARMA POV

Karma was getting ready for the final tonight. She felt so powerful in this moment getting ready that she was not even nervous. The label wanted publicity, they sure as hell was going to get it tonight. It was her last show tonight and the first time performing her new single and she was excited. She finally knew exactly what she had to do and this was going to be one for the history books. She had decided that she was not only quitting her label, but she was going to announce to the entire world tonight that she was going to start her very own label back in Austin.

She already had it all planned out. Liam was going to be in charge of finding and managing the talent, Karma would be producing and recording and she wanted to ask Shane to handle the creative and advertising side of things, since that was his talent. She knew it would be a huge leap for them to uproot their lives in LA and come with her, but she felt so confident, that she didnt even think that they would refuse. What she was offering meant something. It would be the ideal oppurtunity of running a business together with equal shares and working together as a team.

She had already found a huge premises online and was due to go have a look as soon as recording of the show was done. Then the big question was on her mind...She needed to talk to Amy and she intended to make her an offer she couldnt refuse either. Since Amy had walked right back into her life, she had finally gotten the strength back to stand up for herself and to be the person she was always meant to be. She wanted to share that with her. She knew that Amy wasnt a fan of the fame and she is giving it all up to prove to her that she is diffrent. That the only thing that matters is being a person that Amy could be proud of. Nothing mattered more.

When she arrived at the headquarters the place was already filled to the maximum. Perfect, she thought to herself. The more people got to witness tonight, the better. She had one last ace up her sleeve and she was so ready to give the label what they deserved. And even better than that, she finally got to perform her new single. Written for Amy. She could not wait. If Amy doesnt know after tonight how she truly feels about her, she never would. She intended to make it the most romantic serenade in history.

Tonight Karma was going to put it all on the line and she didnt care. It was the most important thing she has ever done. Now that she had Amy back in her life, she felt invincible. By the time sound check swung aroung, she performed another song so that no one could leak the new release before she did it at the finals tonight. When she was finally satisfied with everything, she finally made her way to her changing rooms. She wanted to text Amy.

 _ **"Hey Aimes, just finished sound check. I know you guys will only get here a little later, but I wanted to ask you if you could meet me after the show at the airport. There is something that I have to show you."**_

She had already arranged for everyone to meet them at the airport too, besides deciding what she wanted with her career, she had also decided exactly what she wanted out of life. Amy was entirely at the centre of that and so were all of their friends and family. She continued getting ready and was feeling more and more nostalgic. Her life was about to change and for the first time in Karma's life, she felt like she knew exactly what she wanted. She just needed a little tlc and a chat with Shane, she texted him and he made his way to the back and was in her dressing room within 10 minutes. They spoke for a while and he followed her to hair and make up.

The show had already started and she was about to go on next. The nerves were starting to get to her a little bit, but the future that she had already planned in her head, was all the motivation that she needed. She finally walked out onto the stage and grabbed the mic between her hands. She looked around the room until her gaze met with Amy's. That was all she needed to give her strength for what she was about to do.

 _ **"Hiya folks, before I sing my new song for you tonight, I have an announcement to make. "**_

The crowd was going wild, they were obviously under the impression that she was about to announce who the mystery person was.

 _ **"The song I am going to perform for you tonight, is off my new album "RAW", it will be the first time that it will be heard in public and it will also be my last album with Saturn Records."**_

There were whispers and ooh's and aaah's all over the place when she finally motioned for the crowd to silence.

 _ **"I want to thank all my fans and the label for the amazing time I have had the last five years, but I have decided to create my own label. My label was inspired by this show and the amazing time I have had here mentoring new talent. I intend to continue doing so from this point forward. Karmy records will be opening in the next few months and I hope that I will have the support from all my fans on this new venture. So without further ado folks, this is BACK THEN."**_

The crowd was going wild by the time the music started, but Karma only had eyes for Amy. She sat down on the chair in the middle of the stage and started singing with her eyes locking on Amy's like it was the last time she would ever see her.

 **What if**

 **I realised before,**

 **What if**

 **I never let you leave through that door**

 **Would you still be beside me?**

 **Would I be the only person you see?**

 **What if**

 **You never went away,**

 **What if**

 **I had told you to stay**

 **Would you be beside me?**

 **Loving me and guiding me**

The music became loud for the chorus and she got up to walk the stage.

 **Back then**

 **I was such a loser**

 **Back then**

 **I should have realised sooner**

 **Then you would have been only mine**

 **Then you wouldnt have left me behind**

 **Now I am the one cryin'**

 **I was a fool for lyin'**

 **BACK THEN**

 **You are the reason**

 **I am where I am today**

 **You are the reason**

 **My heart will never be the same**

 **I couldnt go another day**

 **without you near**

 **I couldnt go another day**

 **without letting you hear...**

The violins started and the music became dramatic for the chorus. Suddenly Ryan Tedder from One Republic came onto the stage with a mic in hand.

 **Back then**

 **I was the biggest loser**

 **Back then**

 **I should have realised sooner**

 **Then you would have been only mine**

 **Then you wouldnt have left me behind**

 **Now I am the one cryin'**

 **I was a fool for lying'**

 **BACK THEN**

Karma brought the mic to her lips once more and the next thing, Taylor Swift came out onto the stage aswell.

 **Now Im just a fool who lost you once**

 **Now Im just lost because of fear**

 **Now Im just sitting all alone**

 **Wishing you were here**

Taylor took over at this point holding Karma's hand.

 **If I could turn back time**

 **and get another chance**

 **I would change the girl**

 **I was back then**

 **I would hold you in my arms**

 **and never let you go again**

 **LIKE BACK THEN**

At this point, Adam Levine and Ed Sheeran made their appearance for the chorus. The crowd was on their feet with lighters up in the air and Karma couldnt help smile at Amy.

 **Back then**

 **I was the biggest loser**

 **Back then**

 **I should have realised sooner**

 **Then you would have been only mine**

 **Then you wouldnt have left me behind**

 **Now I am the one cryin'**

 **I was a fool for lyin'**

 **BACK THEN**

The rest of the artists gave one last bow and made their way off the stage so Karma could finish off the last verse. She looked back at Amy for this last verse and she smiled before bringing the mic to her lips.

 **Blonde hair, green eyes**

 **changed my life forever**

 **Your sweet disposition**

 **Your documentaries about the weather**

 **Back then**

 **I wish I could have seen**

 **Right now**

 **Im missing what could have been**

 **BACK THEN**

The music started to fade out slowly as the crowd and all the judges came to their feet clapping their hands. Karma was overflowing with Joy, especially Amy gave her a nod and smiled. For once, she didnt run off. This was the biggest moment of Karma's life and she was finally done with her part of the show. She had Shane already waiting for her outside. She had to get ready for when Amy was supposed to meet her at the airport.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

AMY POV

That was hands down the best performance she ever saw live. She was feeling like she could explode with happiness. All she ever really wanted from Karma was the truth. She had had so many doubts since Karma's confession, but in this moment, she knew there was no other future for her without Karma. Karma was her home. All she wanted in this moment was for the show to finish so that she could meet Karma at the airport. She had no idea why Karma wanted her to meet her there of all places, but this time she didnt care.

After all these years, after all that happened and didnt happen between them, it all finally came full circle. Karma loved her back. Nothing else mattered. The show continued for what felt like hours, but she finally managed to get away around midnight. She couldnt get to the airport fast enough. She finally found parking and grabbed her phone to call Karma.

 **"** _ **Hey Karms, I am here. Where must I meet you?"**_

 _ **"Come to the departures."**_

She made her way to departures and smiled when she spotted Karma waiting for her. She was holding a sign saying "most gorgeous blonde ever". Amy couldnt help laughing at that. Her heart was overflowing with joy as she took Karma's hand. She knew from this point forward, there would be no holding back anymore.

Karma led her to a private jet outside, where to her amazement, Lauren, Shane and Liam were waiting. Amy gave Karma a glance filled with questions, but Karma just whispered...

 _ **"All will be revealed in due time Aimes."**_

The flight was quite funny as they hadnt all been in the same room together since years ago and it was pleasant. Even Lauren seemed to have pulled the carrot from her ass for the moment.

Amy kept looking around her and realised how she finally felt complete. She was still baffled about what Karma had up her sleeve, but for the moment, she was just appreciating the moment.

Karma had a car waiting when they arrived back in Austin and they were all in good spirits when they got in. They rode for a while and finally arrived in front of a very large building. Now everyone's curiosity was peaked. Karma was just smiling and got out of the car first. She walked into the building and opened it with a key an went inside . Everyone followed her eagerly.

When Karma swithced the lights one, everyone's breath was taken away. It was a recording studio already set up and Molly, Lucas, Farrah and Bruce were all standing there. Now Amy had a million questions when Karma finally started to speak.

 _ **"As you guys know, I announced tonight that I was leaving my label and starting my own. I know that all of you are probably wondering why you are all here. Well, I know this is taking a huge leap, but I want all of you to be a part of it. Equal part. I wanted to ask Liam to be head of finding and managing talent, Shane for creative and advertising, I will be recording and producing and I would be honoured if Lauren would be CEO overall. "**_

Everyone gasped. Amy looked confused. She was the only one who wasnt included in Karma's plans.

 _ **"Look guys, I know this is a huge decision and you need to think about it, but the offer stands. I want this to be a family business. And all of you, the people in this room, are my family. I will give you guys as long as you need, but then I want you all to follow me."**_

They all followed Karma without a word. She led them to a door on the other side of the room. She opened the door and switched on the lights. It was filled with film equipment and a green screen and it looked like a film set. THen she turned to Amy.

 _ **"Amy, I know that you have this whole huge successful life in LA, I would also never dream of ever pressurising you into anything ever again. I learnt my lesson there. But I remember you telling me the other day on the beach how you would love to teach film school and have your own studio closer to home. We always used to say we would have**_ **houses next door to each other, I know things are complicated right now, but this is the closest I could buy you. Because there is something I need to ask you."**

She pulled something out of her pocket and went down on her knees and took Amy's hand causing a shock from everyone in the room.

 _ **"Amy, I cant buy us houses next door to each other, because I want to live in the same house as you. I want to wake up everyday with you beside me and I want to sleep every night with you in my arms. Amy, I know we have been to hell and back the last few years and I caused you alot of pain, but Amy, here in front of our family, I want to ask you for the rest of your life to make it up to you. Amy, will you marry me?"**_

Tears were running down both Karma and Amy's eyes and Amy pulled Karma into a tight embrace.

 _ **"What took you so long buttface? Of course I will marry you."**_

Everyone cheered but Karma and Amy only had eyes for each other.


End file.
